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Have you ever made decisions that are perceived as controversial by many fellow humans in our society, yet they feel so authentic, so right to you?
In my early twenties, just as I was finishing my second degree, I moved countries when most of the fellow humans I was studying with were looking for a job and stepping onto their career paths. More recently, in 2023, I moved countries to be with my loved one. Even more recently, I decided not to take part in the most important conference in my field, where our panel proposal was accepted. Instead of being at the conference, my partner and I decided to prioritise our family life. The baby is due around the same time the conference takes place. And I changed my surname, which is seen by many as a terrible thing to do, as a published author. I've been thinking about changing my surname in total for more than a year since my partner proposed to me, and for nearly three months after the wedding. Here in Denmark, one can change their surname free of charge after the wedding before three months expire. I wanted to have the same surname as my child. And my previous surname didn't mean as much to me. While it's on all my publications, the surname is my stepfather's. When I think about that surname, I surely have warm feelings towards it (it's also my brother's surname), but I also get a sense of alienation and artificiality. My husband's surname is hyphenated, and combining our surnames to create a new one for me, or for our child (or even for my husband), didn't feel appealing. And while I have changed my surname, I don't think that it's the right thing to do for everyone. It's such a personal decision.
Practising extreme minimalism is seen as controversial, too.
Yet, this practice has so many advantages. It makes it very easy to look after my home. Caring for my home is something I love doing. While my partner and I tidy up every day (it takes 5 minutes or so), on "my weekends", i.e., the weekends when my partner is away, I spend more time on expressing gratitude towards this space, my home. For me, it's an act of self-care and self-love, as this space is, in some ways, an extension of me. It's a place where I feel safe, creative, where I have many meetings with my fellow humans (online and offline). Where I regenerate and connect deeply with my yet unborn baby, in a peaceful and calm environment. I hope to pass on the joy of looking after one's home to my child.