Preparing for starting a family
It is scary to step on the path of having a family. It feels vulnerable to write about it. And yet, I want this autoethnography to be a raw, intimate account of my real life, including all the challenges and successes. The main reasons behind my practice of voluntary simplicity and minimalism are ecological, spiritual and aesthetic. Over more than 10 years of practice, I began to feel that my practices have become at least somewhat settled. I feel confident in my self-imposed uniform and let go easily of ill-meaning viewpoints (such as that I have to dress differently to attract men, something a fellow human said to me in the first year of my PhD). My skin feels happy with very minimal care products (tap water most of the time). I genuinely enjoy walking everywhere, thus avoiding cars and even public transport most of the time. Stepping into a new chapter, that of starting a family, naturally brings new challenges. At the heart of our approach is applying (wherever and whenever possible) the same principles to planning, being pregnant, and parenting, that we apply to our everyday life as practitioners of voluntary simplicity, minimalism, and zero-waste. Something that I've noticed almost immediately when my partner and I have shared with our close ones that we are planning to start a family, is scepticism that fellow humans feel towards alternative parenting (slow, simple, minimalist, zero-waste wherever possible). What is the point of trying if we live in a capitalist society anyway? While I understand the difficulties, as a practitioner of an alternative lifestyle and a social scientist, I try to stay away from resignation. I try to embrace imperfection and the journey-like nature of this new chapter in my life.
At times, I feel sorrow about postponing planning a family until later in my life. While it is normal in our society, I ask myself why I personally did this. My answer is career. Many years ago I went through an abortion. I was just over 20 years old. I remember sitting there in an abortion clinic in England, explaining to a medical professional how important my education and career were to me, that I could not take a break from them. And while my work is incredibly meaningful to me, as I'm walking my life path, I am beginning to see the importance of other aspects of life.
There is a whole market that I was not aware of before. I have never, until now, realised how many items there are for those fellow humans who are planning to start a family. After more than 10 years of practising voluntary simplicity, I don't find it difficult to avoid buying those things. Having said that, it's humbling to contemplate how I would have approached this market if I was not a practitioner. If I was not a social scientist who believes in the unity of theory and practice. I'm sure that new (to me) objects will enter my space during this chapter in my life though.