Visiting my stepmother-in-law
I visited my stepmother-in-law and father-in-law again after not seeing them for nearly a month. They are wonderful fellow humans. Like myself, they practise sustainable living too, but in a very different way. While my home looks empty, and my practice can be described as extreme minimalist, their home looks like a library and a museum at once, with some elements of a botanical garden. It is a magical space that holds so many memories of different generations. Many of their furniture, and other, items have been in their families for generations. Many of the items they invited into their life many decades ago. They take care of the items they live with, repair them, make them last. At the same time, they are very generous persons. They always ask us if we need anything, and over the years they have given multiple items to their children and grandchildren.
Oftentimes, we talk about sustainability. It's humbling to listen to stories from their childhood and youth. Many of the practices that we now describe as zero-waste were normal when my stepmother-in-law, who is now in her 80s, was a child. She continues to implement some of the practices, such as using soap bars, making household items, and being generally frugal.
She tells me about her skincare. Her skin looks glowing. She wears no makeup and doesn't dye her beautiful silver hair. Anti-ageing advertising feels so vulgar and wrong when I look at her. I want to look like her when I'm in my 80s. She avoids using scented products. To care for her skin on her body and her face she uses a blend of oils (avocado, almond, apricot). She subscribes to a magazine from a patient support association that advocates for persons like her and me, living with allergic reactions and sensitivities. I briefly look through a couple of these magazines. They warn against buying skincare products from online marketplaces that offer products at very low prices.
She asks me about the baby and what I am planning to do, considering my practice of extreme minimalism. I tell her that I haven't invited anything baby-related or even pregnancy-related into my life yet. She tells me about cloth diapers that were used before disposable ones became available. She says that when she was a baby, here in Denmark people used cloths and large metal buckets for boiling those cloths to keep them clean.
She has a gentle, non-critical approach to my ideas and says that if I change my mind and realise that I really need something later, I can just invite that item into my life. She tries to work with my ideas and wishes and make helpful suggestions.
She brings a large bag of cotton yarn and invites me to look through it to identify the colours that I like. Due to her health, she cannot knit as much and as fast, but she wants to knit a blanket for my baby, in time for their birth in summer. She has knitted baby blankets for many of her grandchildren.
And then she takes me to another room. There is a vase with daffodils. A friend of hers found these daffodils by the side of the road as he was walking towards her home. He decided to rescue them. She says: "they are not as fresh, but they are still beautiful".