Negative experiences and spiritual growth
In the morning, I was drinking water and looking for reviewers for some articles I'm handling as an associate editor of the journal Environmental Values. I was also thinking about my own revision that I'm going through these days. It's interesting to be both an author and an editor, and see how the whole process of peer review unfolds.
Instead of glasses, I use various jars that came with food. There are other sustainable options, such as borrowing from friends, family and one's community (when I lived in Sweden, I borrowed glasses from my university department), buying in a second-hand/charity shop, getting them for free in a swap shop (byttestation in Danish). But I personally prefer to use food jars because to me they represent ultimate simplicity. I remember the times, many years ago, when some family members were worrying about what glasses to use when they had fellow humans over. They had what others might consider beautiful crystal glasses. They cared so much for and about such objects. At that time, I realised that when I could make my own choices, I would pursue freedom from such things.
One comment from a reviewer made me think deeply about negative experiences in life and spiritual growth. Negative experiences, states and emotions (think grief, frustration, sorrow, anxiety, loss, and so on) can stimulate spiritual growth. I have certainly experienced that. For example, my mother died in a car accident when I was 17. It was a shocking, unexpected unfolding. She was healthy and in her early 40s. This unfolding made me think much about life, meaning, what I want to do with my time on Earth. It encouraged me to dive deeper into growth. When I resigned from my position at a Finnish university, I much more clearly realised what I was not prepared to accept as a researcher and a human being, what was important to me, how I wanted to be treated by, and how I wanted to treat, my fellow humans. I grew spiritually through these experiences and many others.
And yet, I think we need to be very careful. We need to avoid glorifying or romanticising negative experiences. Some of them might result in spiritual growth, but some might not. They might result in worse outcomes. Much depends on the circumstances. For example, when my mother died, I lived with my stepfather and my brother. We were there for each other. When I resigned from my position, my partner was there for me. I could continue to live a good life. His university helped me with a residence permit for Denmark (I am a British citizen), and I became a visiting researcher at that university. I could continue doing my research without interruption. My partner also proposed to me. At times, I ask myself if things would have been different if I didn't have this support system and positive unfoldings that balanced the negative ones.
Some believe that coping with difficult circumstances and going through very difficult situations makes a person more resilient and stronger. It makes them tough. I completely disagree with this. I would like to see more gentleness in this world, more care, kindness, genuine concern for others. I think that society must do everything to protect humans from suffering, not hope that suffering will result in spiritual growth. It might result in resignation and suicide.