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A fellow human asked: You often mention that you avoid services and I wonder why. I understand that there are services such as food delivery which produce package waste and fuel pollution and therefore are unsustainable. But there are other services such as massage, yoga classes, psychotherapy, language classes (just to name a few) which seem to me to genuinely add value to life of someone who is interested in the[m]. I wonder if you think that there is something wrong in such services too (if yes, what?) and why do you avoid them?

After I read this deep question, I was thinking about it all day. My partner and co-author and I talk about services very often. We contemplate services in our academic work. For example, we believe that there should be universal basic services, provided free of charge for everyone. They would include healthcare, housing, education, transportation. Services also seem to be a good alternative to ownership. For example, libraries are better than each one of us owning books/journals/magazines individually. Rental services seem to be a good option too. For example, instead of buying special occasion items, it is better to rent them. 

My partner uses many more services than I do. Massage, hairdressing, renting a car very occasionally (once a year) are some of the services he uses. I certainly do not judge him for that. My grandmother often uses repair services to prolong the life of her clothes, accessories and shoes. I always found this to be a sustainability practice. 

I use services too. For example, I use the healthcare system, public transport when I have to, libraries, banking, various IT services, delivery (e.g., my partner and I order dried fruits and nuts in very large packages to avoid small plastic ones) and so many others. I use some forms of social media to connect with my fellow humans, share my work far outside academia, learn from my fellow humans. 

At the same time, I try to avoid some services for various reasons. My reasons for practising this lifestyle (that constellates various elements of extreme minimalism, zero-waste, simple and slow living), and thus for avoiding some services, are ecological, spiritual, and aesthetic. 

For example, I avoid certain kinds of transportation (such as flying) for environmental reasons. I avoid gyms because I can exercise at home or outdoors, in nature. I avoid food delivery services because of its environmental impact (as the fellow human who asked the question said), and because I don't want to support this industry. I avoid beauty services because I want to accept myself as I am and honour my ageing. I avoid subscriptions because I want to be mindful about every consumption act and decision that I make. 

I avoid and will always avoid cleaning services. My fellow humans are not my servants. I would never live in a home that is too large for me to clean myself. 

Some services I don't use because I simply don't own items that require special care or services. For example, I don't have a car, so I don't need car maintenance. I live with very simple clothes that I can wash and repair myself. 

There are also services that I don't use because I prefer to do something else instead, or due to sensory processing sensitivity. For example, I much prefer walking, meditating, reading and writing than doing to theatres and cinemas. 

There are services that I don't use because I prefer to do some things myself. For example, I don't use editing services for my academic works. I want my writing to be organic, imperfect and mine. I don't take language classes (even though they would probably be helpful) because I want to take my time and learn a language myself, naturally, even if it takes more times. This is not to say that my fellow humans should not take language classes. I believe they could be very helpful. 

My fellow human in the question above mentioned psychotherapy. This is such an interesting topic. I think psychotherapy is helpful. For a long time, I've been interested in existentialist psychotherapy which inspired some parts of my academic work. I don't use psychotherapy personally because I feel that engaging with philosophy, meditating, journaling, being with nature, doing autoethnography, being on a path of spiritual growth is helpful to me for now. 

I certainly do not think that services are inherently bad. In fact, some (such as healthcare) are absolutely essential and inherently good. There are so many different services. Humans are also different and are in their own unique circumstances. If I was an elderly person, I would love for someone to help me clean my home. If I was ill, I would love for someone to bring me food. I would probably take language classes if the language in the space where I am was very different to the languages that I know or understand. I do not judge or blame fellow humans for using services that they need. Having said that, at times fellow humans feel that using services is so benign that we don't need to be mindful of this kind of consumption. After all, services produce non-material goods. But many services are still associated with using resources. I think that it is helpful to contemplate the services we use, ask ourselves why and see which ones genuinely add value to our lives. 

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A fellow human asked: 

How do you stay focused and not buckle to this pressure [referring to the rapid turnover of identities/personal branding/aesthetics]? Have there been times where you have succumbed to this pressure, and how does one get back on track? 

I feel that to stay focused, it helps to first (and then continuously) contemplate what is actually important, where my focus should be. Otherwise it'd certainly be challenging to stay focused and easy to be influenced by trends, fashion, corporations and so on. 

In my everyday practice, for many years (since my early 20s, now I'm in my mid-30s) I've been using a playful sufficiency list. I've mentioned it in this article. This list shows all the items that I need to live well. It's changed somewhat over the years, but not much. Visually, it looks like this. More important than this list though are other items. They are my priorities and I focus on them. They are kindness, gentleness, empowerment (e.g., of my students), empathy, compassion, solidarity, fairness, care (for myself, human and non-human others and nature), genuine concern for others' wellbeing, right action (at least, striving for that), love, personal growth, self-transcendence (e.g., gratitude, wonder, awe, oneness). Nurturing and acquiring such items is not promoted as much as acquiring, say, goods and services, because they are free and freeing. Becoming more kind, empathetic, caring and so on does not serve anyone's profit motives. They cannot be bought and sold. I often say that our most important career as human beings, no matter what we do as a job, is being the best human beings we can be. My academic work is only part of it. And when all my energy is invested in this career, I don't have energy, time or even desire to change identities and reinvent myself. Instead of consuming, I would much rather read philosophy, write something to initiate discussions with fellow humans (e.g., academic papers and books or even this autoethnography), be with nature and learn from her. Write down some thoughts and ideas for myself. Meditate. If something new comes up that feels relevant (e.g., underconsumption as a recent trend or the idea of regeneration applied to business), I am curious to dive into it and see what my fellow humans are doing. But I avoid spending time on things that feel irrelevant to my calling. 

This is how I feel in my 30s. Before I turned 20, I was not consistently on the same path. And for this reason, I love being in my mid-30s and enjoy ageing, becoming more myself and wise. In my childhood, due to my stepfather's job, I lived in a rural area, in and with nature and non-humans. I felt oneness with nature. We returned to a large city when I was in my mid-teens. Because of sensory processing sensitivity I wanted to live with less. Living with an autoimmune condition also restricted me in many ways. At that time, in early 2000s, social media was not as all-pervasive as it is now, but the influence and pressure to consume came from my family. It would probably have come from friends too, but I've never been a very social person. In my teens, I said yes to many things. Jewellery, watches, various clothing for different occasions, makeup, bras. I used to fly. I thought I had to have these things and had to travel. On some occasions, I felt so overwhelmed by stuff, I would give them away. Everything apart from one outfit. It was not enough, so I would then buy more. And I did it again and again. I'm not proud of it. But I have developed empathy towards my younger self. My mother died when I was 17 and much of the pressure to look a certain way disappeared. I moved far away from my stepfather, grandmother and brother soon after that. When I was 20, I permanently relocated to another country. With only one bag. At that time, I still was not focused. I felt like I had fragments of what was important to me, but they were not constellated into anything concrete. There were things that helped me step on my current path. I lived in England, and that climate with lots of wind and rain encouraged me to stop wearing makeup and wear comfortable clothes. At that time, in 2010 or so, it felt like more fellow humans began to contemplate ecological degradation. I became curious about voluntary simplicity as a lifestyle, zero-waste, veganism, minimalism. I was experimenting with them. I often think that doing my PhD (in ecological microeconomics) helped me constellate various bits of understanding into a philosophy of life that manifests in practice consistently. But I also think that even if I didn't do a PhD, I would have continued on the same path (of spiritual growth). 

After finishing my PhD in England, I moved to Sweden and started working as an academic. For me, it was a test because I would have more disposable income. I was wondering, would I consume more? It didn't happen. I began to live with even less. 

To my fellow humans who feel they are not on track, who think they have made a mistake, I would say that they are on track. No journey is perfect. I wish I started writing this autoethnography when I was 14 years old. I wish that my fellow humans who read my autoethnography now could see that in reality it took so many years to be where I am now. And there are some things that I gave up only recently. Some of the most difficult things to give up was the feeling of shame when doing nothing. Making mistakes is part of the journey. Compassion towards oneself is also part of the journey, so I don't think that we need to feel guilt or shame. I would encourage fellow humans to spend quality time with themselves and think about, and write down, what is genuinely important to them, what they want to focus on. And pursue these things. Write a journal. Talk to fellow humans who are on similar paths.