Living with a fellow human
It's been around a year since I moved in with a fellow human. I want to reflect on this in relation to my practice of ecological living. Before that, I had been living on my own in northern Sweden and southern Finland for around 2 years.
My partner is, like me, a sustainability researcher and practitioner, though we approach sustainable living somewhat differently. I practise this kind of living not only for ecological, but also for spiritual, aesthetic and health-related reasons. The foundation of my practice is extreme minimalism, that is, living with a lot less than what is the norm in our society. I don't love the term extreme minimalism. It doesn't feel extreme to me in any way. It feels calming, peaceful, simple, harmonious, joyful, abundant. I combine extreme minimalism with practices of simple living, zero-waste, and slow living. From many conversations with my fellow humans over the course of 15 years or so, I've come to the realisation that very few persons would like to practise extreme minimalism. And that's ok. With my partner we found that we can meet in the middle and practise minimalist living together. The main difference is that we certainly have more items than I would have had if I lived on my own. We have some furniture (in Finland I lived without furniture and slept on a yoga mat). We also have some appliances (a washing machine and a vacuum cleaner). Having said that, we don't use the dishwasher that came with our apartment. We don't have lighting fixtures, curtains, home décor/artworks, a car. There are many items that belong to my partner's child from a previous relationship. I would practise extreme minimalism with my child if I had one, but everyone's approach is different.
There are some items in our home that belong to my partner's grandparents. I would not have these or similar items, but it's a shared space, so I welcome those items.
Together, we try to practise zero-waste as much as possible. There is no zero-waste store near us, so we welcomed into our home our own refill system (below). Those 10 litre containers are home to liquid soap and dish washing liquid. In the picture below is also a large bag of bicarb soda and vinegar. If I lived on my own, I would have continued to use bar soaps.
Together, we buy organic food, shop in a cooperative supermarket and visit farmers' markets. We avoid flying and are also mindful when it comes to train journeys. Both of us wear a uniform. I borrow some of his clothes at times. I also borrow his shampoo.
The tendency is such that he often wonders what we could welcome into our life, and I contemplate what we can live happily without. We discuss such things in a safe and empathetic space that we try to create.
Both of us like simple objects and neutral colours, which helps both of us feel at home in our apartment. Jokingly, we say that our home looks like a yoga studio or a meditation retreat. Though there is more colour than what I would have preferred.
My partner shares a cottage with his previous partner, and that home looks very different from ours. There are many more objects and more decorations. He spends every other weekend there, and perhaps it balances the emptiness of our home. Here in the Nordics where apartments are often very small, it is also common to have storage spaces/rooms downstairs. We have a storage room where my partner keeps some of his items. I don't use the storage room.
There are some items that I invited into our space and that he would probably not have otherwise. They include, for example, empty jars (that I use as glasses, vases and for storage), cotton tote bags, reusable water bottles, mobile internet, and plants.