Apples, etc.
When I was growing up, giving a gift to oneself meant buying something for oneself like a dress, a piece of jewellery, or a handbag. I never felt attracted to such items, and over time I came to the realisation that a gift to myself could be a fruit or a vegetable. Even though I do believe that humans are entitled to food, just because we live on this Earth that gives us food, food is also something to appreciate, honour, and feel joyful about.
Recently, I gave myself a gift of several apples from the Danish island called Fejø. It has a special microclimate and a long growing season. At this time of the year it's easy to find, for example, apples and plums from this island. Apples are a wonderful gift. I'm thinking about these apples' story. It took so many years for this apple tree to grow and bear fruit that is now right here, in my apartment in Copenhagen. In my mind, I associate apples with the end of summer and with Autumn. The scents of apples (they smell so different!) are scents of Autumn. Intoxicating. Cosy. Warm. Some of these apples still had leaves attached to them, and some had insects inside. It's wonderful. Many tiny flying insects visited my home and were so attracted to these apples, as am I.
Recently I had a meeting with two fellow humans. We were talking about our common work and about Summer. All three of us are in academia, and it's interesting to observe the contrast between summer academics and academics in other times. In summer we are so calm, gentle, caring, slow. We were wondering how to be summer academics at all times, how to retain this warmth, playfulness and kindness, take it into busy and overworked academia.
One of these fellow humans described a conference she attended in summer as generous. I fell in love with this word in relation to a conference. We were talking about conferences that would feel like welcoming and safe spaces. They would be generous and cosy.
As we were talking about emotions, I thought about things in academia being thought-provoking. It's such a commonly used word within academia. Why not emotion-provoking? When I contemplate this autoethnography, my aim of making all my data public is for it to be emotion-provoking. Imagination-provoking. There is a different way to be in and relate with the world.