A fellow human asks: What are your thoughts on "borrowing things" and "being a mooch"?
It's such a wonderful, deep question.
I borrow from my fellow humans.
From my partner, I borrow t-shirts, a hat, a multi-tool, a razor. I have borrowed his coat too.
From my ex partner, I borrowed a sleeping mat.
I borrowed kitchen items from my university department in northern Sweden. I asked the deputy vice-chancellor, whose office was a couple of doors away from mine, how he felt about it. He was incredibly supportive, as he practises sustainability himself, and he knew about my practice. When I left that university, I returned everything to the department. I also borrowed a few kitchen items from a colleague when I had guests.
I borrowed a corkscrew from a neighbour.
I borrowed a lamp from a colleague. In fact, he insisted I had the lamp in my office, as I was not yet used to extremely short days in northern Swedish winters, and he was going away for a while.
Another colleague came to my office and offered some hats and gloves to me. He lived in northern Sweden his whole life, and accumulated many hats and gloves over the years. He said it was more sustainable if I borrowed those items rather than bought new ones.
When I was moving to southern Finland from northern Sweden, I asked a friend if I could borrow a pot, a pan, a knife and a couple of other kitchen items from him. He and his wife brought several items to my home. They wanted to give me much more because they had more than enough and they wanted me to have a cosy life. They told me that when I no longer needed those items, I could pass them on.
I borrowed hair ties from my stepchild on a few occasions (only when she had many). And books from libraries.
When I was younger, I borrowed clothes from my mother, brother, and stepfather, and some items from my grandmother too.
So many things!
When I was much younger, borrowing was seen as a sign of poverty. It felt as if fellow humans did not like borrowing and lending items. Can't you buy your own? Why should I borrow if I can just buy this item?
I'm so happy to observe that at least within sustainability minded communities attitudes are changing. In fact, attitudes towards many things that were seen (and perhaps are still seen in many spaces) as bad are shifting. Small-scale, slow, frugality, missing out, doing nothing, living with less. Borrowing is becoming more acceptable. Why own things individually when we can own so many of them collectively? It nurtures a sense of community and healthy dependency on one another. Not to mention, it is better for nature. This is at the heart of many alternative, sustainability minded organisations such as swap shops and various libraries.
When it comes to borrowing, I have certain rules for myself. I do not borrow money. To me, it is very important to live within my means. I do not borrow objects without intending to return them, or if returning would be difficult (e.g., if I was going away). I do not borrow if it's something I need very often and borrowing this item would be an inconvenience to the person I am borrowing from. For example, I borrow my partner's t-shirt rather often, but he doesn't find it an inconvenience. I borrow the one he doesn't love as much as the other ones he owns. I would not borrow if this act would result in a disadvantage to the person, and if the person would struggle to say no. I would not borrow when there is any kind of hierarchical relationship.
Borrowing is a beautiful, ecological, community-based practice. Yet, it is important to have conversations about it. We need to be honest and transparent about borrowing. I always try to say why I borrow (i.e., trying to live sustainably), what I need and how long for. I say what I can offer too. What can you offer if you own so few items, one might ask. I believe that offerings can be different. For example, I can donate money to charity. I can give time to the person from whom I borrow or to someone else. I can help fellow humans with something. I can volunteer. And of course I would be happy to share something that I do own.
Humans should feel good about both, taking and giving. I fully understand that there are situations when persons cannot give. And that's ok. Problems might arise when a fellow human, who is capable of giving, is unwilling to give, but is willing to take.
Our discussion of borrowing as a sustainable practice: video