Stepping into February
To accompany this entry, I filmed a very short video on my phone.
February is a very special month for me. Though it is still cold, I feel that Spring is so near. Here in Copenhagen, some snowdrops and daffodils started to grow already. I begin to sleep less because days are getting longer. In the middle of February, I will be halfway through my pregnancy. And I will turn 36. I look forward to receiving a text message from my brother who is 2 years younger than me. Since I was in my late teens-early twenties, every year, he has sent the same message to me. It says "old one!" He means it as a joke, but this message always makes me think about getting "old" and ageing. These thoughts are never negative. I feel good about walking my life's path, learning and growing.
When I was little, I had many misconceptions about what getting "old" would entail. I was simply observing fellow humans around me, and thought that my path would be similar. I thought I would be having more and more possessions, that I would dye my hair and grow out and colour my nails, wear a bra, wear makeup, nail polish and perfume, that I would use "anti-ageing" products. I thought I would be unhappy about my wrinkles and stretch marks. How I wish there were, in my life, fellow humans practising diverse modes of relating with the self and the world when I was a child!
And here I am. None of those things I imagined would be part of my life are my reality.
I intentionally live with many fewer possessions than I lived with in my childhood.
I have never dyed my hair. I haven't worn (or owned) a bra, makeup, nail polish or perfume since my early 20s. And I don't intend to.
I have never bought and will never buy anti-ageing products.
I welcome new wrinkles and stretch marks. I don't want to look any different. In my 20s, I was happy to have almost no wrinkles and very few stretch marks. Now, in my 30s, I am happy to have them.
This morning, I took a shower. For my skin and hair care, I simply used water. And then I used a tiny amount of natural balm on my still wet skin and on the ends of my hair. The balm was originally developed for babies. I use it because it's fragrance-free. I came to the realisation that the skin care that I use now in my mid-30s is no different to what was used on me when I was a baby. At times, fellow humans say "it's because your skin is good". But I live with an autoimmune skin condition. It's not possible for fellow humans to see it because since I started to use almost nothing on my skin, I haven't had flare ups. But my skin used to flare up very often. I would spend a lot of time in hospitals and dermatologists' offices. I would often use prescription medication. Conventional products would burn my skin. My skin would react to laundry detergents, synthetic fabrics, and even changes in water quality.