Conversation
Recently, I had such an interesting conversation with a fellow human. We talked about various pressures that fellow humans feel to consume and about my practices of extreme minimalism, simple living and wearing the same outfit every day.
At times I feel like I live in a bubble, so this conversation was very humbling. It encouraged me to reflect more on fellow humans' experiences in the world. Living a somewhat isolated life is both unintentional and intentional. I live with sensory processing sensitivity and I'm introverted. So I need plenty of time in solitude and with nature. I don't have a large social circle and prefer to direct my energy towards personal growth, my family, creativity (my academic work), everyday activism, and taking responsibility for my work (e.g., meeting with students). Yet, it still took me many years to be absolutely at peace with my practices, to live with judgement rather than react to it or dwell on it.
Something that helps me is not being part of those social circles where overconsumption is normalised, where I would be judged, for example, by what I wear and what status symbols I own. I intentionally avoid such spaces. There are safe neighbourhoods here in Copenhagen where I can simply be myself.
Many years ago, I made a decision to love myself the most when I'm wearing no clothing/makeup/jewellery etc. at all. To be like the cat I lived with who is so confident, joyful, and graceful without any jewellery, clothing, and makeup. Clothing became something that protects me from low temperatures and feels soft and cosy. I chose the colours that were not overstimulating for me. Materials that were easy to care for and that were more gentle for nature. I've never been interested in fashion, but the approach I took made me feel completely disinterested in fashion and changing trends. As I grow older, I can see more wrinkles, moles and stretchmarks on my skin. And this is the only trend I am interested in, excited about and embrace fully. I try to spend more time with my dream woman who is 80-something years old, and get inspired by her beauty and wisdom.
I came to the realisation that genuine status items, something that should be desirable in more universal terms, are kindness, gentleness, honesty, being caring, being concerned about others' (human and non-human) wellbeing, being consistent (in my case, as I'm a researcher, it applied to the unity between theory and practice). When I think about these qualities and human capacities, jewellery, paintings, cars, expensive furniture and clothing, expensive properties pale in comparison. Suddenly it becomes so much easier to feel what lagom ("just right" in Swedish) is. I still want to live in a safe neighbourhood and live comfortably. But this comfort translates into living in a tiny apartment, with less than 50 personal possessions and 10 items of clothing.
So much creative energy is being freed up when I don't pursue material possessions, when I don't spend much time on taking care of a large house and thousands of possessions. And part of this energy can be spent on personal growth that further nurtures my worldview and my practice.