Regrets and things I wish we didn't have
Even though I've been practising minimalism for a very long time (over 10 years) and I feel that my pattern of consumption is somewhat settled, there are some things that I live with that I regret welcoming into my life and some things that were not my choice to bring into my life in the first place.
Water bottle that is not insulated. In the country where I live (Denmark), and also in the countries where I have lived previously (Sweden and Finland), summers are short but warm. Winters are long and cold. The water bottle that I have doesn't keep water cold in summers and is unsuitable for hot drinks in winter. Even if I take plain water with me in winter, it becomes too cold. Since inviting this water bottle into my life, I welcomed an insulated one too. It is heavier, but it's more useful. In fact, my partner and his child use it as well at times. I use the one that is not insulated only very rarely. It looks beautiful and simple, and probably will last many years if not a lifetime. But I find myself thinking that if I want plain water in a light bottle, I would rather borrow a plastic bottle from a fellow human (I don't buy water in plastic bottles). What stops me from doing this is signalling to the fellow humans around me that it's ok to use plastic bottles. There is no way for them to know if I bought one or borrowed it from someone. As a sustainability researcher, I do not want to take part in normalising behaviours that I find damaging.
Many cotton tote bags. Several cotton tote bags that I live with shrank in the wash so substantially, that it became difficult to find a new use for them. I wish I dived deeper into understanding the fabrics and materials before inviting them into my life. Some manufacturers produce cotton bags with care instructions that state that washing should be avoided altogether. But such bags, if used very often, do get dirty. I believe that manufacturers should make these products easy to care for. Otherwise they are no different to single use objects. In the very beginning of my sustainability journey, I had a couple of bags made from recycled synthetic materials. They didn't feel as pleasant as cotton ones, and I was worried about microplastics being released into nature. But those bags lasted many years.
Metal snack containers. We used them mostly for my partner's child's snacks but then we realised that a simple glass jar (that came with food) was much more convenient. I prefer glass for snacks too, and glass jars are easier to use for other purposes. For example, I use glass jars as vases and to store tea. If a fellow human visits me and then travels somewhere, I offer them a glass jar with snacks. I don't need them to return it to me because I would get a new one when I finish a jar of jam.
Backpack. I have always found backpacks uncomfortable, but they were often given to me by my loved ones as gifts. Perhaps there is an association that humans have in their mind between minimalism and backpacks (everything must fit into a backpack!). After my previous backpack wore out, I invited a new one into my life without asking myself if it was the best option for me. So many things were on my mind at that time of my life, so I decided to just get one. I have used it many times, especially when I needed to bring my laptop somewhere, but then I noticed that I was trying to avoid using it as much as possible. I felt guilt and shame because this kind of item should serve a human being for many years. The kind of backpack that I had is very popular here in the Nordics and elsewhere, so I gave it to charity. I should not have bought it in the first place, but I hope that it will find a new home.
Plants. I believe that humans love nature, and plants bring joy to us. The best way to invite plants into one's life is ask friends, family and one's community if they can share some cuttings. I personally prefer edible plants or even no plants at home. Having no plants at home encourages me to go outside and spend time in gardens and parks here in Copenhagen. We had a few plants in our previous home but they were consumed by insects. It's a very common issue that I've encountered before. Currently, we have only one orchid at home. She was a gift. There is also a mint plant on the balcony.
Ring. I don't wear jewellery. I don't find them necessary for me. When my partner proposed to me, he ordered a ring. It has symbolic value and is made in a Nordic country from recycled gold. I tried wearing it all the time, but then I felt there was no reason for me to wear it. It doesn't serve me, and I don't need a physical object to remind me about my relationship. I also found it difficult to use a bar of soap when the ring was on.
Hats. Even though I live in the Nordics, where it might feel compulsory to own a hat, I much prefer scarves. I wear a large woollen scarf on my head when it's cold. I also use the same scarf in other seasons and when I travel. A hat only serves one purpose. I gave away the hats that I had.
Personal care items. These days, I use only a toothbrush and toothpaste, soap for my hands and very occasionally I use shampoo that my partner and I have in our home. We also have a jar of petroleum jelly at home. I used to use many more products in the beginning of my journey. This "many more" is still a lot less than what is the norm in our society, but it was more than what I have now. In the very beginning of my journey, I replaced all conventional personal care products with natural and zero-waste ones (after I used up the conventional ones). I used to have shampoo, conditioner, soap for my body, face and hand, moisturiser. I would have a lip balm, a deodorant. Essential oils and other oils. Body cream or a multi-purpose balm. Over the years, I downsized this collection to just a few items. I wish I started using nothing (as I do now) in the very beginning and invited only those objects that I genuinely needed. I did this with makeup. I just stopped using it one day in my early 20s.
And here are the things we live with but I wish we didn't have:
Fabric screen for the balcony. I very much like our balcony. My partner wanted to have a fabric screen to increase the feeling of privacy, but it blocks much sunlight and prevents me from being with the sun.
Bath towels. I prefer to live with smaller towels for my body, hands and hair. They dry quicker and don't take as much space in the laundry or in my bag if we visit the sea.
Sparkling water maker. My partner brought this device from his previous home. We were not using it in our first home, but when we moved to a larger place, the sparkling water maker became part of our kitchen-scape. I like sparkling water but I can live just as happily without it. It feels like an unnecessary device.
Chest. My partner inherited a large wooden chest from his grandparents. It was one of the heaviest items to transport when we moved (we moved everything by hand and on a bicycle). The chest is very beautiful, but we have nothing to store in it, and even if we did, it would probably be the most inconvenient place to store objects. I welcomed the chest into our space because co-living entails compromises, but if I lived on my own, I would certainly not have it in my space.
Lamps that are difficult to clean. We have two lamps in our home that my partner also brought from his previous apartment. They accumulate much dust and are difficult to clean. When I lived in Finland, I didn't have lamps at all, and my life was no less joyful. We use these lamps very rarely, but I find myself cleaning them very often.
Meditation cushion. We invited it into our life originally not for meditation but to elevate my partner's leg when he had a knee operation. Looking back, anything else could do an equally good job and we didn't need another object. Then we were not using it for many months. In our new apartment, we use it to sit on the balcony, but I would be happy just sitting on the floor (or the yoga mat that we have). The meditation cushion is made from cotton and kapok fibres, and I feel sorrow about these plants being used for something that is not useful to us.
Inherited objects. Luckily, we don't have many inherited objects in our home, but we still have some, especially in the kitchen. I always think that other objects would have served so much better and be more functional and even beautiful. I'm not a sentimental person, but my partner is. It brings him joy to use, say, cups and plates that his grandparents lived with.
Dishwasher. It came with the apartment but we never use it.
An expensive knife. For many years, my partner has had an expensive knife that travelled all the way to Denmark from Japan. This knife requires special care and very careful use. I find the knife uncomfortable to use, and we cook incredibly simple food that doesn't require a very sharp and long knife. We have another knife that was made in Germany from stainless steel, and it's the one I use every day. To me, the other knife feels like a burden.
A lot of storage. This apartment was probably designed with a normal lifestyle in mind. There is so much storage in the form of built-in furniture everywhere. We use some of it but mostly it's empty. I would much prefer an empty space.
Storage room. It's very common here in the Nordics to have extra storage room downstairs in apartment blocks. Nordic apartments are oftentimes small, but also clean and tidy. I can see how a storage room can be useful (e.g., for seasonal items, sports equipment etc.) but it can also encourage accumulation of stuff.
Unsustainable children's items. My partner has a child from his previous relationship. At times, his child visits us, and many of her items are in our home. She is brought up in a normal way, i.e., her parents are not incorporating slow parenting, zero-waste parenting or minimalism when it comes to her upbringing. It is of course their decision to make. But I would have preferred it if there were less plastic toys and fast-fashion clothing.
