In defence of writing with a loved one
In this entry, I want to sketch some thoughts on writing academic papers with a loved one.
It seems to be a controversial topic in academia. Some, like myself, talk about their relationships openly. Others prefer not to disclose their relationships unless required by HR departments.
It is controversial because when you co-author with a partner, various assumptions arise in fellow humans' minds. It could be assuming that they help you. It could be assuming that they exploit you.
Personally, I've always found it beautiful when two (or more if it's a polyamorous relationship) humans are together and they write well together.
With my loved one, we were colleagues but then we fell in love. Those who are familiar with our works know that I am interested in business in relation to degrowth as well as everyday practices. My loved one is interested in critical political economy rather than the level of individuals and business. More recently, he has become curious about self-transformations of humans, something that I've been interested in for a long time, and this is something we now contemplate together. We also think together often and contemplate how our interests on different planes of being, from the psyche to social systems, can come together. Both of us are interested in philosophy of science, and both of us are critical realists. We stepped into the realm of critical realism independently of each other. Even within critical realism my loved one likes the first moment of critical realism, while I'm more interested in the philosophy of metareality.
My experience of writing together has been wonderful. We discuss research every day. At times we read and write together, in the same space. At other times we sketch different parts of some paper, comment on it and overall go through a similar process of co-authoring as we do with other fellow humans.
Because we live together and are in the same field (and now also at the same university), it is not surprising that we influence each other. This doesn't mean that we don't disagree and don't write works on our own or with others.
I don't think that humans should fear being judged for writing with their loved ones. I have certainly experienced judgement, but this does not put me off working further with my loved one. Avoiding working with this person, and thus saying no to all the beautiful and thought-provoking conversations and interesting projects, does not feel authentic to me. I do not believe that humans like us are doing anything wrong. But I believe that sexism is abominable, and it is systemic. Writing together despite judgement from others is an act of everyday activism and non-compliance with sexism.