Things and services I said goodbye to
From my early 20s to my mid-30s, I've been walking a path of spiritual growth and simplifying my life. I'm still on this path. My reasons for living a simple life are many - ecological, aesthetic, spiritual, health-related. When I say in my autoethnographic work that I, for example, live with 50 items and don't fly, I do not want my fellow humans to think that one day I made a list of many practices and implemented them all the following day. It's been a gradual process. In some periods and even moments, I made many changes, and in other periods not so many. Partly, I make my autoethnographic data public because I want my fellow humans to see what practising minimalism actually looks and feels like. I also want my mode of living to be somewhat normal. That is to say, there are proposals in sustainability literatures about small-scale, self-sufficient, anarchist communities growing their own food, making their own clothing. But this is not realistic, at least currently, for many people. Many fellow humans live in cities, like I do. I do not think that it would be helpful to say that if one lives in a city, their mode of living is by definition unsustainable and there is nothing they can do about it. There is so much about cities that is unsustainable, but the discussion needs to be much more nuanced. For example, adopting a radically different lifestyle is something fellow humans in cities can do. I like to see this lifestyle is a constellation of different practices of zero-waste, minimalism, voluntary simplicity. As having more of some things (which are often not material at all!) and less of others.
Over the years, I said goodbye to these things and services:
- I stopped flying in my early 20s
- became vegan and then vegetarian (for health reasons) in my early 20s
- decided to live in a place that is lagom for me. I've lived in small studio apartments, one was 20 sq. m., another one was 29 sq. m. The current one is around 40 (I live there with my partner).
- decided to forego many opportunities in academia to avoid flying, to dive deeper into connecting with and studying my local region, to have meaningful and close collaborations locally
- stopped wearing makeup, nail colour, and using most skincare (and my skin feels so much better now)
- stopped wearing smart, seasonal, and occasion clothes
- stopped wearing synthetic fabrics as much as possible. In the beginning of my journey, I was not as aware of their impact on nature.
- stopped wearing black. In the beginning of my journey, in my mind I associated black with simplicity and minimalism. Then I observed that black clothes didn't last as long and would fade over time. Clothes and other textiles in beige, grey and off-white were so much easier to care for.
- decided not to have any physical books despite being in academia
- decided not to listen to career advice that feels intuitively wrong (e.g. "avoid writing with your partner", "write papers, not books")
- stopped going on holidays in far-away places (even when reachable by train)
- stopped using seemingly benign and popular in the zero-waste community products such as essential oils, small net bags for vegetables, and stainless steel straws. When I began practising zero-waste, I thought there were particular things I had to have, but then I realised that it was not so. I wanted to live only with what was necessary for me.
- stopped buying conventional (i.e., not organic) food as much as possible. When I began my university studies, I met fellow humans who would try to spend as little on food as possible to be able to buy clothes, makeup, perfume, and accessories. Food, after rent, is my largest expenditure.
- closed a conventional bank account in a conventional bank. Banking with an alternative financial institution was one of the more recent practices I implemented.
- stopped using public transport as much as possible. I started walking instead. Moreover, public transport in Denmark is very expensive.
- I stopped cutting my hair regularly and decided to let it grow naturally. I don't style it, don't dye it. I only use shampoo that my partner uses, but I try to minimise my use of shampoo as well. I air dry my hair.
- Stopped updating my devices often. When I was growing up, getting a new laptop or a phone from parents for some holiday was the norm. At that time, I would have a new phone before the old one stopped working. I'm ashamed of this. When I left my family home, I only get a new device when the old one stops working and cannot be fixed. It happens very rarely. I also used second-hand devices.
- I said goodbye to perfectionism. In the beginning of my journey, I felt ashamed of using medicine packaged in plastic. It took me some years to see how bad this approach to myself and my practice is. Sometimes, I had to acknowledge (to myself) that a zero-waste practice does not work for me. For example, I went back to using razors with replaceable heads for mental health reasons.
- I resigned from my position in my previous university as an act of zero tolerance towards violence. It meant acknowledging that there was nothing else I could do, foregoing my income, stepping into the unknown, losing my residence permit, moving to another country. It also meant freedom (including freedom of research), living authentically and in line with my values, regaining my mental health, and uniting with my partner.
- stopped going to restaurants often. I used to go out with my friends every week. These days, I go out very rarely. I much prefer to cook.
- stopped wearing jewellery. I never liked jewellery, but I would wear some pieces occasionally. Now I only have my engagement ring.
- I gave away most of the things I lived with apart from 50 items or so
- stopped using handbags. In my early 20s, I still had a handbag. I gave it away. Then I decided to use my backpack when I travelled and/or needed to take my laptop with me and simple cotton tote bags for everything else.
- I try to avoid overstimulation (advertisements, shopping centres, tv, cinema and so on) as much as possible. Instead, I engage in calming activities such as walks, swimming in the sea, foraging.
None of it is to say that adopting a more sustainable mode of being necessitates foregoing the same things and services that I said goodbye to. I feel that a transformed, harmonious mode of being should not be about giving up, sacrifice, going without, suffering. It should feel like liberation and becoming more authentic. I feel better now than ever before. I feel happier and healthier with less.
I want to acknowledge my privilege. For example, I could forego driving and using public transport because I either lived close to my workplace, or I could walk long distances. I resigned from my job knowing that I had enough savings to support myself for a while and my partner would be willing to support me. Having said that, I would resign anyway and do my best to find a new job as soon as possible.
There are some things that I gave up that would be associated with too high emotional costs for others. For example, I don't see my brother anymore as he lives far away. Other things I decided to forego for health reasons. For example, I live with a skin condition that restricts substantially what I can use on my skin.
