To my fellow humans who are reading this, everything I say here are my plans, hopes and dreams. It's not the right way to do things, and it's not my intention to present it as such. There is such a great diversity of ways.
A couple of days ago, I walked into the final chapter of my pregnancy, the third and final trimester. The second trimester, from around week 16 when I stopped taking my medication for hyperemesis gravidarum, was a magical time. Towards the end of it, I began to feel more pregnant. It was more difficult to walk all the way up to the fifth floor. I began to experience occasional back aches and heartburn. At the same time, I was enjoying ever more noticeable movements of my baby and getting even closer to finally meeting him.
Many fellow humans have mentioned nesting to me, saying that this is something I would experience. I haven't experienced it yet. I don't feel any desire to change anything in my home. From the very beginning, when my partner and I moved in together, we created our home around our values, such as simplicity, sufficiency, and peacefulness. This space feels safe, comfortable and calm to me, with very few items, natural materials and neutral colours.
I've never wanted a nursery (and our home is too small for one). I personally don't feel attracted to the aesthetic of nurseries so common in the area where we live. I don't want to have a cot, rugs, a bed canopy, baby gym, special furniture such as a changing table, multiple shelves with many months' supply of diapers and baby wipes, various lotions and creams for the baby, posters with writing that the baby will not understand, countless hangers with baby clothes for various occasions, equipment such as baby bouncers and sling cradles, technology such as baby monitors and white noise machines. Such things have been normalised in our society. At some point, I thought that one must have them all when one has a baby. It's only when I decided to have a child myself, I decided to dive deeper into my assumptions. I realised that it is still my choice to invite some items and say no to other ones. I realised that I didn't have to stress about hanging dozens of tiny clothing items on tiny hangers, removing dust from multiple picture frames, or trying to find ways to dispose of dozens of packages of baby wipes if my son is allergic to them. I could simply forego such things.
My baby is an integral part of my life, and we will live in the same space. Many of the same practices that I perform every day will apply to the next chapter of my life, too. For example, I wear the same outfit every day, for all occasions. My baby will wear similar clothes as well, in the same colours and materials, so that I can simplify my laundry routine and hopefully reduce the chance of his skin irritation, in case he is born with the same skin condition that I have. I live with an autoimmune skin condition, and my skin reacts negatively to some fabrics and dyes. Some fellow humans believe that bright colours and patterns are better for a baby, as they are more entertaining and stimulating. Personally, I don't remember at all what I wore until I was around 6 years old. I don't think that my baby will remember, either. There are so many wonderful, bright colours in nature that both him and I can enjoy. He will be born in summer, when there is a magical abundance of colours: various shades of green, brilliant blue sky, bright orange chanterelles in forests. There are various flowers, the sea, orange carps in local lakes.
I've been asked what I will invite into my life just before and after the baby is born.
My partner and I sketched a list of the most important items that we will need, but we are not in a hurry to acquire these things. Some of them we have already.
A mattress. We will co-sleep with the baby on the floor (we usually sleep on the floor and don't have a bed), but he will sleep on a separate mattress. We will use the mattress that we already have. When I was a baby, I slept in a cot next to my mother's bed. As a mother myself, I've not felt attracted to the barred sides of the cot. While I understand the safety aspect of them, to me a cot looks like a cage.
A sling. I will not use a pram. I plan to babywear, and for that I will use a sling made from organic cotton.
Cloth diapers (plus waterproof covers and paper liners). Disposable diapers are certainly something I want to avoid. My grandmother and my mother used cloth diapers for their children, and I plan to do the same. They didn't have waterproof covers (they used plastic instead), but I will. I was given many (used) cloth diapers by my stepmother-in law. These days, I use them to dry my hair, to protect my hair from the sun, and to wrap the camera when I take it out. When the baby is born, I will use them for all kinds of baby-related purposes.
Swaddles. In the first weeks of my life, I was not wearing any clothes. I was swaddled instead: my grandmother and my mother would wrap me (not tightly) in layers of cotton cloths and blankets, depending on the temperature inside and outside (I was born in winter). My baby will be born in June or July. Here in Denmark, it's usually very warm during these months. In our home, the temperature often reaches 25 degrees. I hope that inside the baby will not need to wear much most of the time, and can be gentle swaddled some of the time.
Clothes. To me personally, plain body suits made from organic cotton felt the most appealing and versatile. My partner bought a white bodysuit for the baby, but we will have several of them, as well as plain trousers. This will be the baby's uniform, which is similar to what my partner and I wear. I don't think that the baby needs different clothes for different activities.
I plan to breastfeed, at all times, even when I have meetings and other commitments. I don't plan to use bottles and equipment associated with them.
After the items we use are no longer needed, I will save them for the zero-waste space that I am dreaming about and that I wrote about in my previous entry. In that space, I hope to have a tiny byttestation (swap shop) where baby items can be gifted and shared in my local community.