Childhood
In my autoethnography, I focus mainly on my current practices and principles and what constrains and empowers me on this journey. But at times, I feel the need to link these current practices and principles with what unfolded in the past. These days, I've been thinking about my own childhood for two reasons. One is that my worldview probably was, at least in some ways, shaped by my childhood experiences. I talk about it a little bit in this book. I was born in a large city but then, when I was just a few years old, my family moved to a rural area due to my stepfather's job. I grew up in and with nature. We returned to the large city when I was a teenager, and by then my worldview, my character and preferences at least in some ways had been shaped. Another reason why I contemplate my own childhood is because at times my partner and I talk about having a child. Due to precarious and temporary academic jobs and academic nomadism, I have never thought about having a child. I didn't know when and where I could settle, and with whom (perhaps even simply with myself). When my partner and I became a couple, having a child became a possibility, and I stopped thinking so much about academic jobs and how precarious they are. In the end of the day, I wouldn't want my industry to influence serious decisions in life. At times, fellow humans in my field sacrifice parenthood, important relationships and interests for an academic job.
I have been thinking about how I was growing up. There was a lot less personal technology and social media, but there were still plenty of toys around. There was Lego and there were Barbie dolls.
When I was very young, I preferred to play with the objects around me rather than with toys. Shoe boxes and shoe laces were some of my favourite toys. I loved children's books, especially interacting with them in an unguided way, looking through the pages without adults reading those books for me. My mother and stepfather never had a chain of activities imposed upon me. Oftentimes, we would simply go to a park where I could play and interact with non-humans. In the rural area, I spent a lot of time outside, in a large garden, with animals, insects, in fields and with trees. I didn't like human-made objects and tv as much as what I could find in nature. Nature was infinitely more beautiful, interesting, surprising. In the rural area, there were very few shops. These days I see so many children being taken to shopping centres and playgrounds in those shopping centres. To me such environments feel overwhelming and loud. I used to draw and paint, make things from clay, read, and write. I was making things from seed beads, looking after my pets and house and garden plants. Early in my life I was introduced to various edible berries, mushrooms, and herbs, and in spring, summer and autumn I would pick them. I used to pick leaves and flowers to dry them between the pages of books. I used to have books with descriptions of various plants, and I would try to identify them. Adults involved my brother and I in simple, everyday activities such as cooking and looking after the garden very often and from a young age.
Early on, I realised that entertainment comes from within just as much as it comes from the outside world. Both my brother and I created whole worlds in our minds and would tell each other stories about those worlds. When I was by myself, I would be thinking about that world and what was unfolding there. In my childhood, I talked to trees and other non-human beings.
These days, the world looks and feels somewhat different, and my child would be growing up in a city. Yet, I feel that there are so many ideas from my own childhood that I would want to repeat in bringing up my child. For example, the pace of life can be slow, activities unguided. A park can be chosen instead of a cinema or a shopping centre. Everyday objects can be toys.