286

 Gift to myself

At times, I invite new objects into my life. It doesn't happen often, apart from the products I use daily (such as soap and food). But when it happens, I try to be intentional. February is my birthday month. I don't ask my fellow humans to give me anything, but I give a gift to myself. It doesn't have to be things. At times, it's just a walk. Sometimes it's food. Sometimes it's just many hours with nature. This time I invited an object. It's a small pouch for my bank card, sundhedskort (the heath insurance card) and id card. Previously, for this purpose I used a cotton pouch that came with soaps. Then I started to use it to carry my mobile internet with me, so I wanted something for my cards. The pouch I chose is made from organic cotton. I like using it in my everyday life because it normalises simplicity. It's also affordable. It could be hand-made, but I don't always make things by hand. At times I do, but at other times I prefer to support businesses that are on sustainability paths. The piece of string I used to decorate the pouch came with another object. I usually save those strings for gift wrapping. 

285

 DIY

Whenever possible, I do and make things myself. I repair my own clothing and at times my loved ones' clothing. I cook, and sometimes I make my own skincare. When I was younger and had access to land, I grew some of my own food. I don't try to do as much as possible myself. When I can, I support small, local, independent businesses. For example, I buy soaps and balms from them. 

My loved one and I created a space for my stepchild in our tiny studio apartment. She spends more time with us, and at times she sleeps with us too. We thought it would be nice for her to have her own space. I don't invite decorations into my home and use stones, flowers, and shells I find in nature. But for a young child I decided to make the space more welcoming. She loves drawing and painting, and she painted a picture for us. I will ask her to create artwork to hang above her bed. For storing our objects, I use cotton tote bags. We will have cotton baskets to store her clothes, art supplies and toys. To decorate those baskets, I decided to make pompoms from wool. It's rather time-consuming, but it's ok. We could buy decorations on the market but this is one of those situations when I prefer to make something myself. My work is oftentimes theoretical, and it feels humbling and grounding to create with my hands. 

284

 One object instead of many 

Something that helps me on my minimalist and zero-waste journey is replacing multiple products with just one. 

I use a multi-purpose balm, made by a small Danish company from only three ingredients (olive oil, shea butter, beeswax) instead of all these products:

• Face creams
• Eye cream
• Hand and cuticle creams
• Body cream
• Foot cream
• Hair styling cream
• Lip balm
• I also use it to help heal small cuts

At times, I used to have some other products because I live with an autoimmune skin condition. But I find that using basic, natural and unscented skincare keeps my skin healthy. I haven't had a severe issue with my skin for over a year. 

I use a simple, unscented bar of soap instead of all these products:

• Face wash
• Body wash
• Shampoo (though I also have a shampoo bar)
• Hand soap 
• Kitchen cleaner
• Bathroom cleaner

I picked up this cotton bag years ago on my way from Denmark to Sweden. I lived in northern Sweden, so the journey would be very long. I went to Irma (it used to be a Danish supermarket) to get some food, and I got this bag to carry my food with me. Since then, I've been using it very often. I have several cotton bags and use them instead of all these objects:

• Storage
• Handbags. No matter what occasion it is. I use them for special events too, such as a fellow human's PhD defence. Teaching, dates. I don't live with normal handbags, so I take my cotton tote bags or net bags everywhere with me. 
• Shopping/grocery shopping bags
• Bread bags (at times)
• Boxes when moving: I live with very few objects, so when I move, I put everything in cotton tote bags
• Laundry 
• Recycling. At times, I keep paper and bottles in these bags to recycle them later. 
• Laptop sleeve (I wrap my laptop in this bag and a plastic bag if it rains). Some fellow humans wrap their laptops in towels to protect them. At times I do it too. Laptop sleeves are often made from plastic (synthetic fibers), and I do not want to live with plastic where I can avoid it. 
• Suitcases. Because I live with very few objects, when I travel, I usually only need cotton tote bags. I don't own a suitcase and I never borrow it from my fellow humans. 

283

 Living with less plastic

Today, I was walking with my fellow human. He needed to go to a supermarket but didn't bring a reusable bag. I always carry a cotton net bag or a cotton tote bag with me, so we used mine. I don't even see it as my own, as these are just some objects I live with. I often share objects with fellow humans and wouldn't feel uncomfortable if someone took almost anything I live with. The situation with the bag made me contemplate living with less plastic, something that I have written about in this autoethnography and in my previous entry. 

At times, humans online share something along the lines of "I have tried living zero-waste for a week and these have been my experiences". Though it is interesting to learn about someone else's experiences of living zero-waste, one week is not enough to change one's lifestyle. I've been practising this lifestyle for over 10 years, and I'm still on a journey. I made many changes in the first few years of my practice, but it still took much longer than a week. And when I relocated (from England to Sweden, from Sweden to Finland, and from Finland to Denmark), I had to learn new things every time. I also made many mistakes on the way, such as buying objects that I didn't need and would not use. I made mistakes when I was trying to change my practice too fast. But I also made mistakes later on, when I thought my practice was good. It's humbling to make mistakes and learn from them. 

I think that developing habits is essential. I have developed a habit to always bring my reusable bags with me, even if I'm not planning to shop. At times, I would buy something I was not planning to buy, such as fresh bread, if I walk past a small bakery. Or, especially in the summer months, I could come across something I could forage. Those could be berries, mushrooms, herbs, vegetables, and fruits. At times, I would find something very beautiful such as a shell or a stone that I wanted to bring home with me. I don't use human-made decorations at home, but I do use stones and shells, and at times flowers from nature. Cotton tote bags and net bags are very light. When I travel, even if it's a short distance, I always bring my water bottle with me. A habit I want to develop is to always bring a snack with me when I travel. In Sweden I've been in many situations when my train was delayed. Oftentimes having a drink with me is enough, and I always tell myself that nothing bad will happen if I don't eat for a few hours. But at times, a small snack could be helpful. 

A while ago, I replaced many products with just one. For example, I don't own a body wash, a face wash, a hand soap, a kitchen cleaner, a bathroom cleaner, a shaving foam. I use bar soap instead of all these products. It comes either in cardboard packaging or without packaging. I always buy such soaps from small, independent, local companies. I choose the most simple option, without scents, so I can use this soap for everything. Usually I get a few bars at a time so I never run out. Perhaps it's not the most minimalist practice, but keeping one or two extra soap bars at home doesn't take much space. I don't own a hand cream, foot cream, face cream, body lotion, eye cream, hair styling cream and other creams and lotions. I live with only one organic balm, made by a small, independent Danish company from shea butter, olive oil and beeswax. And I use it instead of all those products. I use a very tiny amount of it every time, so it lasts. 

Some of my fellow humans in sustainability movements buy their clothing second-hand. It's a good practice, as we use what already exists. I don't buy second-hand clothes because I want to look the same every day, own very few pieces that last, and have no synthetic clothing at all. Currently, I live with a jacket that is made from polyester. My running shoes are made from polyester. And one pair of sweatpants has 13% of polyester in the fabric. When these objects wear out, I will not welcome anything made from or with synthetic materials into my life. 

There seem to be more sustainable options for almost everything. At times, those options are genuinely better. At other times, it's greenwashing. I believe that these days many objects can be replaced by plastic-free ones, but it's so important to ask if they are necessary in the first place. My ex partner and I used to buy candles made from natural waxes and essential oils. They were better than mass produced, fossil fuel based candles with artificial scents, but eventually, both of us realised that we didn't even want to have candles in our home at all. I would get headaches from them and preferred fresh air, and my partner didn't seem to enjoy those candles either. For me, minimalism and plastic free living go hand-in-hand. 

Many plastic-free options require a little bit of extra care. For example, soaps need some time and space to dry, otherwise they become soft, even if the quality of the soap is high. Wooden brushes and sponges, if kept in water, will become discoloured. I don't mind taking good care of these objects. Perhaps if I lived with many objects, I would find it overwhelming to care for each of them. But when there are only a few, I find it grounding and meditative. 

Going to a supermarket or a food market takes a bit more time too, as I want to choose those options that come without plastic. Usually, I don't plan my meals. I simply get what I can get without packaging, something that is local and seasonal. Right now, there are many beautiful Danish root vegetables one can buy in a supermarket. These days, we get carrots, parsnips, potatoes, for example. We also get leek and onions often. We cook pasta dishes with seasonal vegetables, cream soups, and eat smørrebrød with potatoes. 

Living with less plastic is a personal practice, but my loved one is interested in minimising his use of plastic too. We talk about our sustainability practice very often. Both of us are sustainability researchers and practitioners. We also discuss how we can be a positive influence in his child's practice. She is only 4, but I believe that starting to introduce a young human being gently and in a playful way to sustainability practices can have a positive effect. 

282

 Plastic

I've been trying to reduce my use of plastic for the past 15 years or so. I'm a social scientist, so my knowledge about the technical aspects of plastic pollution is limited. Perhaps it is similar to that of any other fellow human interested in this subject. But UNEP produced many reports about plastic pollution that can be found here. I felt so much sorrow when I read their report Chemicals in Plastics - A Technical Report. As a social scientist, I believe that humans reproduce and transform social systems and structures. Possibilities for these acts depend on many factors such as personal circumstances and age, for example. As a human being, I want to transform those social systems that are detrimental for nature, non-humans, and humans, including myself. I cannot transform those systems on my own. Indeed, my personal actions don't really matter in the grand scheme of things. And this is oftentimes the argument against individual actions. And yet, I believe that if many fellow humans take part in transformations, systems can change. There is no other way to change social systems. They are not changed from without. 

I find that the best way to minimise the use of plastic is living with less. Excluding many categories of products from my consumption. 

I prefer to welcome those objects into my life that are made from natural materials such as stainless steel, glass, organic cotton. I think they last longer and look more beautiful. All my skin and body care is zero-waste, plastic-free and very simple. I use a multi-purpose balm (made from olive oil, shea butter, beeswax), shampoo bar, soap bar, toothpaste tabs, crystal deodorant, a lip balm. 

Whenever possible, I try to welcome those objects into my life that are not made from mixed materials (e.g., blends of cotton and polyester). 

Whenever possible, I buy food that is unpackaged.

I do my best to remember to bring with me things like a bread bag, so I don't need to get packaging with the product I am buying. 

Whenever possible, I stay in a café to drink my coffee. Or I use my reusable coffee cup. 

When I give gits, I do not buy plastic ones and do not buy plastic packaging for them. I give zero-waste gifts or food. For packaging I use recycled paper or fabric.

Whenever I get a chance, I let companies know how I feel about their use of plastic. For example, some tend to overpackage. 

Whenever a plastic bag comes into my life, I honour it. At times, such bags come into my life from other humans or deliveries. I try to buy only from small, independent businesses that use sustainable packaging, but rarely there is a situation when the packaging is not sustainable. I keep those plastic bags and use them rarely until they are no longer functional. Then I recycle them. One situation where I use (old) plastic bags consistently is when I need to transport my laptop or documents in the rain. I put them in a cotton tote bag and a plastic bag. My backpack is not waterproof. There are other objects that I carry that can get wet. But I don't mind it, as they will dry. I love rain water and don't see it as something I don't want to get on my clothes. 

There are still plastic objects that I live with. My jacket, the only jacket that I live with, is made from polyester. I welcomed it into my life when I lived in northern Sweden. Previously, I had lived in England where a simple wool coat was enough. In northern Sweden it was much colder. My running shoes that I wear in winter are made from plastic. 

My backpack is made from vinylon f. It's durable and light, but I am not comfortable with this material. It does not feel good when I touch it. I also notice that it gets dirty very quickly and attracts dust easily. 

I try to learn about materials that surround me. 

At times, my fellow humans say that everything is made from plastic. It is used in trains that I use, for example. It is used by medical professionals. I understand this. At the same time, I think that plastic should be used where it is absolutely necessary, and where other materials would be much worse. In my personal life, other materials work well and even better. 

I understand that there is only so much consumers can do. So much plastic is being used in the supply chains where I have no control. But knowing that what I can do has a limited effect is humbling. It is ok. It reminds me of the fact that I am a being amongst billions of my fellow beings. I do not want to only take part in those actions that are grandiose. I feel that this approach is narcissistic. 

281

 Learning

Recently, I've been thinking a lot about words. There are so many words that I was ashamed of using in the beginning of my academic journey. Or, I thought they were negative words. I have grown so much via working on changing my perception of certain words. They are, for example, vulnerability and imperfection. These days, I do not feel bad about saying that I don't know something, don't yet understand something. That I am in two minds about something. That something is messy. In my academic work, I use freely words such as spirituality and say how I feel about something. 

280

 Dreaming

Seeing magic in simple, everyday objects feels so important to me. I think it's an incredibly important aspect of sustainability practice. So often I've heard my fellow humans say that a holiday or a trip was magical, but it is rare to hear that a cup of tea in the sun appeared magical to someone. Earlier today, I was cleaning my reusable coffee mug with this brush. I use it for my water bottle usually. As I was looking at the brush, it felt like it was a magic wand. Its colour and texture were absolutely breathtaking in the sunlight. I began to think about dreams and dreaming. 

Dreaming is a big part of my academic work. In my academic work, I talk about post-growth future, what it could look like, how to get there, and why humans might want it. So partly, it is about imagining things. Imagining a better society living in harmony with nature. I also dream about a better, more ecological personal life. A big dream of mine is to live closer to nature again, to forage more, to grow vegetables and herbs. I dream about working in a safe place with kind fellow humans. I also dream about living with even less plastic. 

279

 Sketching practices

The other day, my loved one and I were drawing. At times, we do it to relax. I wanted to sketch something very simple, some zero-waste objects that I use every day. There is my reusable coffee mug that my loved one gave me as a gift. I don't own a normal, ceramic mug, so I use this one every day at home as well as outdoors. I use a multi-purpose balm made by a small Danish company every day too. There is also a reusable water bottle. A cotton tote bag with a laptop in it. Leek that can be bought without packaging. We use leek very often when we make pasta dishes and soups. A cotton net bag I use almost every day. There is a soap bar that I use for my hands, face, body, and to clean my home. There is a small collection of stones from Sweden, Finland and Denmark. These stones connect me with the places where I've lived. The stones are the only decorations I have in my home. If I relocate, I will take them with me. And finally, there are my sandals. I've been wearing them for many years. These days there is no snow here in Copenhagen, so I wear them outside. When I lived in England, I wore these sandals all year round. 

When my stepchild visits us, she finds my sketches entertaining. At times, I want to write a book for her so she can learn about sustainability practices. 

278

 Simplicity and transparency 

Many years ago, I used normal handbags. I've never had a large collection of them, but I thought that using handbags was just something I had to do. When I stepped on a minimalist and ecological journey, I began to wonder if using a handbag was a necessity. They often felt too heavy, and I would carry with me some objects that I didn't need. As I began to simplify my life, I gave away all the handbags that I had. I started using cotton canvas bags and net bags to carry everything. Usually, when I go out, I take only very few objects with me. A cotton pouch that came with some soaps. I use this pouch for my bank card. My phone. A handkerchief. When I go for a longer walk in winter, I bring my lip balm and a reusable water bottle with water or tea. At times I bring my phone and a scarf. When I use a cotton net bag, everyone can see what is in there. And that's ok. When I travel or take my laptop with me, I use a backpack instead, and bring cotton canvas bags with me. The reason I use cotton canvas bags and net bags is normalising casual, simple outfits and accessories. I don't want my bags to communicate status or awareness of fashion trends. I use cotton canvas and net bags for laundry and storage too. 

277

 "Green" products

Maintaining an extremely minimalist lifestyle may be very difficult in our society. There are always new products, and some humans have a desire to keep reinventing themselves. I haven't found this desire within me, but I empathise with the fellow humans who say that they want to change their wardrobe to disconnect from a difficult situation (such as a break-up) or they wish to look different for a special occasion such as their wedding. While more sustainable options are good, there is also a danger of overconsuming these products. One might think, it does no harm if I get objects that are certified organic, in the worst case I will donate them and someone else will use them. But everything that is produced requires materials and energy. Even sustainable goods. I think it's also easy to imagine a fast fashion company producing everything from organic materials. Genuine sustainability requires not only choosing natural, organic, biodegradable etc. materials, but also consuming less. 

It is also possible to buy second-hand, thus avoid contributing to the production of new objects. I avoid this option when I buy clothes, because I want to look the same every day. I do not want to normalise looking different for different roles. The way I look when I teach is exactly how I look when I go for a walk, when I go to a supermarket, when I travel, when I relax at home, and so on. My fellow humans ask me so often why, as a sustainability researcher and practitioner, I do not buy second-hand clothes. And my reason is always the same: I want to live with very few clothing items that look the same, and wear them all the time. For my students, friends, my stepchild, and others whom I see regularly, it is impossible to tell if what I wear was bought new or second-hand. The only thing they would notice is that I change my outfits. 

Recently I added a tiny accessory to my wardrobe. There is a dusty green cotton ribbon that came into my life with a household object. I usually keep such ribbons for gift wrapping. But this one looked very beautiful to me, and I tied it around my neck. I do not intend to wear it very often, but I wanted to wear it today to celebrate moving towards spring. 

276

 Sustainability criteria

We recently decided to invite new glasses into our home, as the ones we had before broke. The ones we had previously were wine glasses that my partner brought from his previous apartment. We used them alongside the jars from pasta sauce. I liked the jars so much more. The wine glasses were very fragile and certainly not versatile. In all honesty, I found the wine glasses pretentious and off-putting. I never enjoyed using them. The jars I used as glasses for hot and cold drinks, for storage, and flowers. 

The new glasses we got are not strictly new. They are made from wine bottles, here in Denmark, by an eco-social enterprise that employs persons with reduced working capacity. This was not the only sustainable option. We could get glasses free of charge from a byttestation (swap shop), from friends or relatives. Or we could buy them from a second-hand shop. But we wanted to support this eco-social enterprise. 

When I invite new objects into my life, there are certain criteria that I have in mind. They are very similar to the ones for businesses that I describe in my work on business for a post-growth society. 

Before inviting new objects into my life, I naturally ask myself if they are really necessary. And if they are, then usually I ask fellow humans if I can borrow them. Oftentimes it is possible. At times, fellow humans say that they don't even need that object and I can keep it (and then pass it on to someone else). Sometimes, it is possible to find necessary objects in a byttestation (swap shop) or a second-hand shop. When I bring something to a swap shop, I take a look if I need something from there. Usually I don't. Some objects come with something else. For example, I keep glass jars and use them as glasses, vases and for storage. Some things can be hand-made, such as balms, or simply received from nature, such as home décor. For home décor, I use stones, shells and twigs from nature. At times, I keep them. At other times, I return them back to nature. 

When I buy something, I try to buy from the kinds of businesses I research. They are local, independently owned and focus on nature and society. Sometimes they are not for-profit businesses, but alternative forms, such as cooperatives or eco-social enterprises. I look for objects made from natural and local materials, preferably made locally too (due to labour laws and transportation). Very often it is impossible to buy something that satisfies all my criteria for a certain product and is made here in Denmark. Then I look for something that is made in my regions (the Nordics) or in Europe. 

I buy objects that I intend to keep forever, that are durable, well-made, repairable. They also need to be beautiful. Perhaps it's not a popular point of view, but I believe that aesthetics is important for sustainability. When something is beautiful to me, I feel good about using it and want to use it often. To me, simple things made from natural materials are beautiful. 

I try to buy certified products because it is impossible for me as a consumer to look into the whole supply chain of a product and businesses' operations. Certified does not automatically mean sustainable. For example, there are B-corps that make various kinds of unnecessary products from fossil fuels. In my research, I also notice that not all small businesses have financial capacities to get their products certified. One certification I rely on is, for example, GOTS (Global Organic Textile Standard). But it is not perfect. I have seen products that are GOTS certified but they are not well-made and do not last long. 

I do not buy more than I need. At times, when there is an offer at some store, I would buy spare objects, but only when it is something that I use daily, such as soap bars. 

When I can get something cheaper elsewhere, then I do it, because if there is some money that I save on a purchase, I can then donate to an ecological initiative. For example, it is cheaper for me to buy medicine in Sweden. When I went to Sweden as a visiting researcher at Lund, I would also bring medicine back home. 

When I buy something (apart from food), I do not want it to be seasonal. I wear the same clothes and shoes all year round. I do not decorate my home differently depending on the season or holidays. 

I avoid buying objects with very specific purposes, such as occasion clothing or kitchen items designed to address one particular issue, such as coring apples. 

I avoid buying things that are overpackaged. 

When it comes to food, I prefer to buy food that is organic, unpackaged or minimally packaged, local, seasonal, vegetarian, and easy to prepare. It is not always possible. Oftentimes, there are trade-offs, such as local, seasonal, and packaged in plastic, or imported and unpackaged. 

I do not buy new objects when I already have it and it is imperfect. Some of my clothes and home textiles have stains on them and small holes, but these imperfections are beautiful to me. 

275

 Zero-waste

There are many valid points that critics of zero-waste raise. One is that individual actions are not enough. The whole economic system needs to change. I agree with this. Apart from being a practitioner of ecological living, I am a researcher of sustainable business and degrowth. It makes sense that beyond individual patterns of consumption and modes of relating with the world, there need to be changes in business and policies. Oftentimes, I hear that zero-waste is impossible. I also agree with this. I've been on this path for more than 10 years, and leading an almost perfect zero-waste life requires that many supportive structures and entities (such as swap shops, zero-waste shops, farmers markets) are present, and one has a lot of free time to dedicate to zero-waste living. For this reason, while I do my best, I do not live a perfectly zero-waste life. Zero-waste aesthetic is also a contentious topic. If one looks online, it is so easy to find pictures of perfect zero-waste kitchens and bathrooms. Often, these are new products that only retain their look for a few days. A realistic zero-waste home looks very different. There are old and new objects. Objects made from plastic and other materials. Throwing everything away and replacing it all with perfectly matching glass jars and stainless steel food boxes is not sustainable.  

I think that while the principles of zero-waste living are similar for every practitioner (e.g., sufficiency, natural materials, circularity, durability), the exact constellation of practices and objects looks very different. This constellation of practices depends on the person, their unique circumstances and available systems and structures. I live in Copenhagen where it is easy to get to many places on foot, by train, bus, metro and bike. The recycling system seems good. There are many ecological options available. At the same time, the city is incredibly expensive, there are no zero-waste shops nearby. I have no access to land. 

And here is my own constellation of zero-waste practices:

I do not bring glass jars and stainless steel boxes with me when I shop. I do not drive or cycle, I walk everywhere. Oftentimes, I pick up the food when I am on my way home from somewhere. In a supermarket or a food market, I try to select those products that are unpacked or packaged in paper, that are seasonal and organic, and preferably local. Perhaps for those fellow humans who drive, it is more realistic to bring their own heavy containers.

I do not compost at home. In Denmark, we have bins for food waste. I would compost if I had a garden, but I do not. 

It feels important to be mindful when buying objects from a "zero-waste kit". I think that many would understand what this expression means. Many years ago, I bought stainless steel straws because I thought I had to have them. I realised that I almost never used straws, whether plastic, paper or steel ones. So I gave away the stainless steel ones that I got. It was a mistake to buy them in the first place. Some items that are associated with zero-waste living and that I use every day are, for example, cotton tote bags, soap bars, shampoo bars, water bottle. Others I would not buy. For example, at times I see baskets for sale. They look very beautiful and they are made from natural materials. I used to use them in my childhood when I went foraging. But here in Denmark it rains often, and oftentimes I take a backpack with me. I also never acquired a cutlery set. When I am away from home, I would rather go to a café to eat something simple there, or get something from a bakery.  

I avoid buying an object when I can get it for free or borrow it from a fellow human. For example, I do not buy glass jars, I keep the ones that come with various food items such as pasta sauce and honey. 

When I buy new objects, I think carefully about them. I try to choose objects that satisfy my criteria (I will write an entry about it). The main question I ask myself if I intend to keep this object forever. 

My home is not plastic-free. Most likely, our household produces much less plastic waste than an average Danish household. But there are still various plastic objects. Some of them are Lego pieces that belong to my stepchild. Our medicine is packaged in plastic. Some of our food is packaged in plastic. Some of our clothing such as shoes and jackets are made essentially from plastic (polyester). 

We still produce waste. Most of our waste is cardboard packaging. There is some plastic waste. There is glass too. Some glass jars I keep and I use them as glasses, vases, storage and many other purposes. Some glass packaging in Denmark can be returned, so we keep that separately. 

Oftentimes, we buy bread from a bakery. It comes without plastic. 

Whenever possible, I let businesses I buy from know what I think about their products and how they could be improved. I try to buy from local and small businesses, the ones I am interested in for my research. Such businesses usually are very welcoming towards such information from their customers. They understand that we, humans from all walks of life, need to work together to bring about a genuinely sustainable society. Sustainability, including zero-waste, needs to be seen as a collective practice. 

I think that the most important zero-waste practice is living with less. I do not mean as small number of objects as possible (though I have tried this too), but rather with what is lagom (just right in Swedish). 

If I could give a piece of advice to my fellow humans stepping onto sustainability path, I would say that it is very helpful to start slowly and see sustainability as a journey. I think that jumping into a new lifestyle is stressful as so much needs to change. Some things take longer, and that also depends on individual circumstances. At some point, I realised that living a lifestyle that constellates elements of zero-waste, voluntary simplicity, and extreme minimalism is good for my mental health and wellbeing, but I am glad that I took my time to adopt different practices. To make one's practices genuinely sustainable, it is essential to develop a worldview that allows one to relate to the self, human and non-human others, and nature differently. With kindness, love, empathy, solidarity. 

My feeling is that more and more fellow humans are feeling disappointed with the zero-waste movement. And while I understand and agree with many points of critique, I still have so much hope in this movement and its practices. 

274

Simple everyday life

Stones

The other day, my stepchild came to visit us. She is not being brought up in an alternative way (e.g., zero-waste parenting), but this time she brought some stones and a Danish coin to our home. We were playing with these stones, arranging them in different patterns. It reminded me of my own childhood. I used to live in a remote, rural area due to my stepfather's job. In that area, we lived in and with nature rather than simply close to her. Nature and non-human beings were infinitely more interesting to me than human-made plastic toys. To see a young fellow human who is growing up in busy and urban Copenhagen playing with these magical stones was wonderful.

Honey jar

Even though I practise minimalism and I'm very happy with everything that I live with, at times I invite new objects into my life. By new I do not mean trendy or store-bought. Recently, I decided to keep a honey jar. I use it to store raisins. I notice that in our household, we consume more dried and preserved foods in winter, as we avoid to buy fresh imported fruits. 

273

 Purjolök

Simple and slow life is so important to me. It is a space for my everyday activism, practising minimalism and zero-waste, reading and writing. Recently, things have been different. My partner had an operation and he cannot walk. All the household duties and activities came my way. I have a very positive attitude to care, but engaging in care work meant that I had less time for other things. In the very beginning, I felt overwhelmed. I was trying to be as good as I could be at caring, and at the same time finish the first draft of my book. But over time, I adjusted to this new situation. I began to see the moments of self-care as sacred. I do not associate self-care with consumption at all. For me, self-care is going for a walk on my own. Making tea and enjoying it. When it's sunny, I would stop doing whatever I was doing, and would spend some quality time with the sun. I also began to bring my attention, more than ever before, to the magic in everyday life. The roots of leek, the skin of celeriac, the crust of bread, the colour of chamomile tea, the scent of coffee, the pattern of frost of my window. There are hundreds of things that make everyday life magical. 

272

 Finishing the first draft

I am sitting with the stones from Sweden, Finland, and Denmark. I picked up the Swedish stone when I was in Ångermanland with some fellow humans from my university department in northern Sweden. The Finnish stones I picked on the island in Finland where I used to live. The Danish one I picked up on the beach in Amager in Copenhagen where I live now. 

I'm feeling happy but also somewhat exhausted. Today I finished the first draft of my book called "Degrowth, depth and hope in sustainable business: Reflections from Denmark, Finland and Sweden". The book will be out with Routledge. A while ago, Routledge reached out to me and asked me if I was planning to write my own book. 2023 was the most challenging year of my life, and I wrote the book in 2023. On multiple occasions I wanted to postpone writing this book as I was going through many struggles. But at the same time, those struggles revealed something to me. I also felt so much empathy for the struggles and journeys of others. In this book everything that I have been thinking about since 2016 (the year I started writing my PhD on degrowth and business) has crystallised. All my reflections, thoughts, learnings, and ideas about degrowth and business. In this book, I weave together Danish, Finnish and Swedish businesses' stories and my own experiences of living in Sweden, Finland and Denmark. This book is very personal and written in a gentle way. I wanted it to be raw, natural. I embraced so many things that are still unfortunately excluded from most academic spaces. Vulnerability, compassion, subjectivity, love.

271

 Care work

It's very slippery and it's difficult to walk. I walk very slowly so I don't fall. I left my only pair of shoes outside overnight, and they got filled with snow. I didn't have time to dry the shoes indoors and they feel uncomfortable. I could order food and other things to be delivered to my door but I try to avoid taking part in the gig economy that provides no stable jobs, no opportunities for development and spiritual growth. 

Many of my practices of minimalism, voluntary simplicity, and zero-waste have been possible because of this privilege: I had no, or very few, care responsibilities. Caring for my students was of course part of my job, but I had no children, no elders, no pets to care for. I often say that living an almost perfectly sustainable life is a full-time job. Having a full-time job imposes limits on the amount of time and energy one can spend looking for zero-waste options, engaging in alternative organisations and activism, meditating and developing a worldview to which love towards the self, human and non-human others, and nature is central. It is so easy to sketch a list of what a sustainable lifestyle would look like. But it is difficult to practise it in reality. At times I was thinking, if I find it so difficult to practise, say, zero-waste when I have very few care responsibilities, it must be so much more difficult for my fellow humans who have more of such responsibilities. 

Then things changed. My partner had an operation which prevented him from walking for some time. Care is not a burden. It is magical and humbling. It is the right thing to do. But I began to notice how having this responsibility, in addition to my other commitments, was affecting my everyday sustainability practice. Usually, we do our household activities either together or we split them somewhat equally. I suddenly was in a situation where I had to do them all. I began to have less time for writing and spiritual practice. Because I still wanted to read and write a little bit, I decided to go to the nearest supermarket to buy food. It was the most convenient option, not the best ecological option. I didn't want to spend much time in the supermarket looking for the best ecological options. Rather, I wanted to leave as soon as possible to come home to see that my partner was ok. I was thinking, what if it was an elderly person who needed many more years of my care, what if I had a very young child. 

270

 Everyday activism

At times, when I refer to my everyday sustainability practices as everyday activism, my fellow humans feel uncomfortable. They wonder if it is really activism. There are different perspectives on what constitutes activism, what qualifies as activism. For some, it is participating in protests, for others it is intense presence on social media and advocating for some cause. For yet others, it is something entirely different. As an introverted human being with sensory processing sensitivity, I feel overwhelmed by protests. I avoid, whenever possible, large gatherings and events. Personally, I feel uncomfortable with taking part in what's become known as hashtag activism as I would not feel that I am doing enough, especially when I do not take part in any protests. I believe that there need to be different forms of activism so more humans with different conditions, preferences and personalities are involved in making the world a better place, in advancing ecological and social causes. 

I find everyday activism an effective form of activism. This is especially so considering that I am in academia. Much of my work is theoretical and abstract. Manifesting in my practice, in my everyday life the values I advocate in my research, showing how I do it, how I make mistakes and so on, is a way for me to connect my research and practice, to engage fellow humans in conversations on sustainability, to make a small difference in the world. I've had countless, wonderful and deep conversations with fellow humans from different walks of life about sustainability practices. Some of those fellow humans were the ones who read my autoethnography. Others were my students. Yet others were fellow humans who were interested in something I was doing and that they observed. For example, once a fellow human at a hospital asked me why I used a cotton pouch instead of a wallet. 

Framing one's simple, everyday practices (both spiritual and material) as activism helps. It allows one to see oneself as a political person, to remember that everything we do either reproduces or transforms social structures. Overall, when I see myself as a political person, I feel more responsible and motivated to do my best. I am not waiting for others to address ecological degradation, I am trying to do it myself in very small ways. Naturally, I am hoping that others are doing it too to the best of their abilities and will do even more as they learn about various possibilities. Taking responsibility makes me reflect on different domains of my life, including consumption, teaching, writing and what I manifest in each of these domains. 

269

 Contemplating sufficiency again

I contemplate sufficiency very often. Recently I was thinking more about it in relation to the book I'm working on. Sufficiency is one of the core values that underpin my sustainability practice. Even though I often refer to my lifestyle as minimalist or extreme minimalist, at the heart of it is not living with the smallest number of possessions. Rather, it is living with what is enough or lagom for me. I know that I could live with even less, but I live with what feels comfortable, though in my case it is much less than what is the norm in our society. 

Sufficiency, in my view, is a positive and gentle word. It is absolutely not about self-limitation, deprivation or sacrifice. It is about self-love and self-care. It is about love and care towards human and non-human others and nature. It is about seeing oneself as enough, one's possessions as enough, rather than seeing oneself as always lacking in something and one's space as lacking in stuff. It is about feeling love towards one's region, seasonal and local food. 

Advertising seems to be based on creating and nourishing insecurities in humans. I often think that without a worldview to which love (towards the self, human and non-human others, and nature) is central, this is how I would be interacting with countless and forceful advertising. I would feel not beautiful enough, not slim enough, not wealthy enough. My hair is not smooth enough, my eyelashes not long enough, my nails not colourful enough. My home is not trendy enough. My underwear is not sexy enough. My clothing is not new enough. The gifts I choose for my fellow humans are not acceptable enough. I'm not seeing enough of the world. These adverts are not there because those businesses care about my wellbeing and want to improve it. They are there so I choose/feel motivated to spend money to address the insecurities and what corporations present as my multiple deficiencies. Not to donate this money to a cause. Not to save it for the future. Not to give it away to those who are genuinely in need. This is not to say that all products are useless or bad. But it is to say that inviting products into one's life requires contemplation. 

I was also thinking about my stepchild and other children her age in the area where I live. The little girl is currently 4. Buying objects is seen by so many as a manifestation of love and care. I do not see sufficiency being manifested at all. In my works, I say that higher education needs to change so that sufficiency is included as a value. I say this because I'm in academia and feel that at least to some extent I am familiar with this industry. At the same time, not every human being wants to be in higher education. And it is naïve to expect that some lecture on sufficiency or ethics will transform fellow humans' worldviews. Worldviews take so long to develop. I'm not entirely sure how, but it feels important that sufficiency is talked about and practised much earlier than when a human being studies at a university. 

268

 Trying and failing

It is a challenge to write this entry, but when I started working on my autoethnography, I realised that I had to, and also wanted to, capture everything, both successes and failures. It was not enough for me to write about living an extremely minimalist lifestyle, avoiding plastic and visiting local food markets and swap shops. It was so important to capture imperfection of my practice. This practice concerns deeply interrelated material, philosophical, spiritual, emotional, aesthetic, financial and other aspects. Because genuine sustainability is about all of them. In fact, I believe that genuine sustainability is first and foremost about gentleness towards being in general (the self, human and non-human others, nature, the cosmos), that then manifests in practice. 

I feel like I am failing to live sustainably in many ways. My personal practice of sustainability is imperfect. This whole autoethnography is dedicated to imperfection and nuance. While I practise minimalism, do not fly, buy local whenever possible, do not own a car, do not eat meat and so on (here is my list of practices), I still shop in a supermarket. I live in an expensive rented apartment, thus contributing to someone's profit. Recently I bought a Lego set for my stepchild. Lego is an institution here in Denmark and beyond. I had Lego sets when I was a child. I was growing up in the 90s. Their products are durable and perhaps facilitate creativity in some ways, but they are made from plastics. Here is a link to the types of plastic the company uses. I bought that set because this is something the child's father wanted to buy for her. The child has other Lego sets too. Though I told myself that this is not for me, and I should not feel bad about buying a plastic toy, at the same time I felt bad about it. It did not fit my normal consumption pattern and went against my own principles of relating with the world. It led me to think about being in the life of a child that I cannot in any way control and that I can influence only minimally. I am not her parent. She has two parents who have made and are making decisions about her life and consumption pattern. I feel that this is not my place to say anything, and this is what my partner and I agreed on. There are some aspects of consumption that we can decide on together, such as bedding and clothing that the child has at our place, but this hardly changes her overall pattern of consumption. In fact, these are just additional objects that she has because she stays at our place at times. 

I know that I would choose a different pattern of consumption for my own child if I had one. I would do my best to bring together my and their consumption. I would study zero-waste and minimalist parenting sources. I would spend time exploring nature with them as much as possible, because this is something that was a big part of my own childhood. I believe that growing up with nature led me to develop a worldview to which oneness and gentleness are central. Above I mentioned having Lego sets when I was a child. I barely spent any time with human-made toys because they were so much less interesting, exciting and inspiring than nature. I would involve the child in everyday activities in a playful way to explore the joy and beauty of simple, everyday life.

I am failing in my role of a stepmother. I love my stepchild, just like any other fellow human. It's easy to love fellow humans, and this is something that I feel good about. I feel the need to care and protect her, to make sure that she is comfortable and safe, that her needs are met. But she is not my child, and there are no chemical and biological mechanisms to support me on this journey. Those fellow humans who are parents, say to me that love towards their children is something so strong and indescribable, something they have never felt before. I can understand it, feel happy for them, but this is not something I experience myself towards a child who is not mine. As a critical realist, I believe there are multiple mechanisms and forces that make this special kind of love manifest. I do not experience it towards my stepchild. My love is of a completely different kind. I find it challenging to explain this to my partner who is her father. I struggle to find the right words, to express myself in a way that does not hurt his feelings. Recently his mother asked me what I thought about this child. Me not loving her grandchild is one of her biggest concerns. Naturally I said that I loved her. But it is a completely different kind of love. 

I associate this child's presence in my life with many things that are going wrong in my relationship. She is not to blame for anything, of course. It is not her fault that her parents went their separate paths in life. But the 50/50 childcare schedule has been incredibly difficult for me. When my partner and I moved in together, we didn't have any sufficiently long period of time to bond and establish our life together. Our togetherness has been discontinuous. I do not feel that my emotional needs have been satisfied. 

I disagree with those fellow humans who say that knowing about my partner having a child was enough to decide if I wanted to be in that relationship or not. Knowing is not the same as actually being in a situation, experiencing it, having feelings and emotions about it. As a social scientist, I recognise this issue so well. My experience has been that of sorrow, sadness, discontinuity, loneliness. That sadness is directed partly at myself and my own inability to embrace this situation, to feel what I want to be feeling, what I expected I would be feeling. But also more generally, sadness is directed at the universe, since the timing when the unfolding of reality brought my partner and I together is not at all ideal. Growth through acceptance of this situation takes an enormous amount of my energy that I could be spending elsewhere, such as serving nature and focusing even more on my research. Dwelling in an emotionally unhealthy space is not serving anyone. I contemplate being of deep transformations (the main theme of this autoethnography) in relation to my situation. And I do not know what is the right path, whether it exists. What is the right way to heal, whether stepping out or staying is the best option. I contemplate all the opportunities that I am foregoing because of the situation where I am not even happy. 

I feel that the gap between where I want to be, both emotionally and geographically, and where I am, is currently too large. I want to feel safe and authentic. I want to feel that I have enough mental capacity for self-care and care about humanity and nature. I want to be closer to nature. But currently all the energy that is not invested in my research and my book is directed at trying to be there for a child whom I love only generally, to accept the situation that I dislike, to accept living far from nature because my partner and I have to live close to where the child mainly lives. I am afraid of finding myself in a situation, many years down the line, where I will be looking back at my life and regretting taking this path. 

I am struggling with labelling my emotions correctly and understanding their causes. I am trying to understand why I feel like I need to pretend to be perfect and loving in the child's company, why I cannot be my imperfect and introverted self. This is not authentic. My partner is introverted too, but when he is around his child, the love he experiences towards her seems to sustain a high level of energy, while the only thing I want to do after some hours in the child's company is withdraw and rest. And withdrawing after some hours is perhaps not the path towards bonding with this little human being. I am trying to understand why I feel no positive emotions when I see my partner and his child together. I feel excluded and the need to be with myself and non-human others. 

There are many projects that my partner and I wanted to do together. Both of us work in the same field in academia, and we are affiliated with the same university. We have been working on some ideas, including self transformations for degrowth. But I am not sure how long I can continue on the current path, and whether I can find ways to accept this situation or I can't. Writing about self transformations feels incredibly difficult as I feel that I have reached some limits to my love and acceptance. I do not know if I can find a second wind. 

267

Coping with stress

I think that many of my fellow humans try to cope with stress every day. My biggest source of stress is wanting to be, but not being, on a stable path in my life. Feeling conflicting emotions causes much stress and anxiety. For example, partly I want to stay in Denmark, and partly I don't. Some days I am happy in my relationship but other days deeply unhappy. Some days I have a deep sense of belonging in the region where I am, while other days I feel that I want to move. I am struggling in my role of a stepmother, though I also feel love towards my stepchild. 

When I feel stressed, I do the following. First and foremost, I seek solitude. This is one thing that is perhaps most healing for me. I don't feel alone when I am spending time in solitude, as we are always in the world with others. I pay particular attention to non-human others such as trees and stars. I also read, write and draw. When I draw, I don't try to produce something beautiful. Rather, I do it to relax and calm my mind. When I write, sometimes I choose to work on my book and other times I work on my autoethnography. These projects remind me about what is important in my life. Sometimes I simply write to capture my emotions, and then I delete this piece of writing later. When I choose to read, I read philosophy and about others' experiences of living a more ecological life. 

Sometimes I go for a walk. Here in Copenhagen I do less of this, as where I live the streets are busy, and there is no raw nature. There are parks and cemeteries. But at times even parks suffice. 

266

 Spending less on clothing

When it comes to more sustainable living, I feel that there is a trade-off between quantity and quality. Not so many humans can buy high-quality, more expensive items in large quantities. And ecological products are often more expensive than conventional options. Like many fellow humans, I cannot afford to buy many expensive products. Neither do I want to buy more for ecological and other reasons. Some other reasons are spiritual (I intentionally want to live with less), aesthetic (I prefer empty spaces), social (I would rather donate money than buy more stuff). There are of course ways to be more sustainable and have more at the same time. One can shop second-hand, borrow, get objects free of charge from swap shops, receive objects as gifts. While these are some ways to approach sustainable consumption of clothing, I prefer to simply live with a lot less than what is the norm in our society (I live in Denmark). At times, I borrow clothes from my loved ones (even when the size is not perfect for me), but in general I feel that I have enough. What helps me spend less on clothes is the following:

Having a uniform. Every day in winter, I wear sweatpants, a t-shirt, and an oversized linen shirt. In summer, I wear the same thing, but when it's warm I wear shorts. I wear exactly the same thing when I am relaxing at home and when I teach. 

I only wear basics. Apart from two linen shirts, all the other items are basics. I do not own any occasion wear. I teach in sweatpants, t-shirt and socks. At times I teach and present my academic works barefoot. My knowledge does not diminish because of this. Some may think that it is disrespectful towards the audience, but I strongly believe that claiming power via wearing more expensive/smarter clothes than what my students are wearing is disrespectful. 

Excluding many categories from consumption. I don't have handbags, sports clothing (I wear cotton shorts and a t-shirt when I go jogging), swimwear, smart clothes and shoes. I understand that it is not possible for everyone to exclude these categories, and my aim is not to convince my fellow humans to avoid these categories of consumption. Rather, my aim is to show that it is possible to have a meaningful life while living simply, if one so wishes, has an opportunity to do so, and desires to try this mode of being. 

I do not wear a bra and have not worn it since my late teens. At that time, I realised that this was not something I wanted to do in my life. I wanted to develop a close connection with my body and pursue comfort. I wanted to embrace my natural (and imperfect) body shape. I want other women to feel comfortable doing so too. When I was younger, I wish there were some role models who would say to me that this is absolutely ok. 

I limit the colours that I wear. I only wear the colours I love and never get tired of. And everything matches and looks calming to me.

I repair my clothes. Even though I'm not very good at it, I try. And it works well enough. I'm not seeking perfection. 

I embrace imperfections such as stains and holes and do not feel the need to replace an item as soon as a small hole manifests. I see beauty in such imperfections. 

Wearing only fabrics such as organic cotton and linen helps because they are durable, so I don't need to replace clothes often.

Caring for clothing well and correctly also helps. I read care instructions every time a new object comes into my life. I avoid anything that requires special care, such as dry cleaning. 

As much as possible, I avoid items with too many details or accessories that can break or age quickly. I don't wear lace and avoid zips and buttons, where possible. Personally I find very basic items the most aesthetically pleasing. 

I am very much supportive of naturism as a philosophy of connecting with nature. Here in Denmark it is ok to swim without clothing, and I use this opportunity. My fellow humans who know about my love towards naturism often joke about it. They ask how I would practise it in winter here in Copenhagen. I don't do it, but I go for the next acceptable option which is wearing basics and a uniform that I mentioned above. 

When I was much younger, on a few occasions my friends, who had very different styles, and I swapped clothing. It's more sustainable than buying new items. But I realised early on what exactly I wanted to wear, and stepped on a path of wearing a uniform. 

265

Meeting with a fellow human

It is always so inspiring and humbling to talk with businesspersons about sustainability and their journeys. This morning, I met with the founder of a small Danish business that makes only three products from only three ingredients (olive oil, shea butter, beeswax). It's an incredibly interesting business, and I will include the story of this business in my forthcoming book. 

I learned about this business a while ago, when I moved to Denmark. I don't live with many objects, but the ones I invite into my life I try to buy from small, local, independent businesses. I live with an autoimmune skin condition, and many products and ingredients cause severe irritation and inflammation in my skin. 

As I will write about this business in my book, here I only want to note one aspect of our discussion, the question that I contemplate often myself, as both a consumer and sustainability researcher. It's the question of ecological, locally made products often being more expensive than more conventional options. When I talk about both simple living and sustainable business, my fellow humans often raise the issue of affordability. It is a very important discussion to have. As a consumer, I notice that more sustainable options are often more expensive. As a practitioner, I approach this question this way:

I practise minimalism, so I invite very few objects into my life. I exclude many categories of products (jewellery, makeup, occasion and smart clothing, cars, flights and so on). This allows me to spend a bit more on the products in the categories that I consume.

Whenever possible, I live with objects that have multiple uses. For example, I use a balm as a lip balm, face cream, body cream. I use bar soap to wash my body, hands, to clean the sink and at times even to wash my clothes.

In terms of skin and body care, whenever possible I make things myself or use concentrated products (without added water). For this reason, I use solid shampoo, bar soap, balms instead of creams. 

Whenever it is possible to avoid buying, I choose this option. For example, I always borrow kitchen items. They rarely match, but it is ok and even beautiful.

I avoid wasting money, e.g., by wasting food.

Usually I say no to gifts from fellow humans, as I have everything I need, and what I need is very little. But whenever there is something that I genuinely need and, e.g., my loved ones hope that I help them identify something, I say explicitly what I need. Usually it is either food or something that I always use. 

264

Shopping

In a genuinely sustainable society, we will still be consuming. Inviting new objects into our life does not necessarily have to happen through buying. It can be via receiving gifts, getting objects for free (e.g., from swap shops), foraging, borrowing and so on. Shopping has become an unwelcome word in sustainability communities. I oppose shopping as a hobby, buying fast anything (e.g., fashion, furniture). I very much dislike shopping myself. But I engage in this activity too, like many of my fellow humans. I just try to approach it differently. Practising minimalism and voluntary simplicity means that there are not so many categories of products that I consume. What mainly comes to mind, apart from basic needs (rent, water, electricity, public transport, food, medicine) are basic household products, personal care, clothing, cafes, technology. And then I try to simplify my consumption in each of these categories. For household cleaning, I use ingredients such as vinegar and baking soda. I only use a few personal care items, and most of them are zero-waste products made by small, local companies or even by myself. I buy clothes very rarely, embrace imperfections such as small stains and holes, repair when I can. I wear a very limited number of colours and wear the same things every day. My loved one and I go to cafes or eat out only very occasionally, and when we do, we prefer to support local, small businesses. As for technology, I use very few items, and all of them are very old. 

263

 Simplicity 

In my previous note I mentioned that new objects came into my life because my loved one's child began to spend more time with us. It's a somewhat challenging situation for me to navigate. My preferred mode of living is extreme minimalism. I used to live without furniture, slept on a yoga mat, invited very few objects into my space. I did it partly for ecological reasons, but also for aesthetic and spiritual reasons. Practising extreme minimalism is my way of living with "lagom" amount of things. I felt happy, calm, and even euphoric. Moving in with my fellow human meant adopting minimalism rather than extreme minimalism. Gradually, over the months, we invited more objects into our space. 

I can still practise my own consumption the way I choose. There are some principles that I live by. They include, for example, sufficiency, supporting local businesses, natural materials, durability. One of the most important principles is simplicity. I feel that in this autoethnography I mention simplicity very often. Perhaps it's a somewhat obscure word to use for consumption, as in my case it refers to everything from focusing on smaller number of things and goals in my life to ingredients in my personal care and colours of my clothing, to design of the objects I live with, to the food I choose. 

262

 More objects

My loved one has a child from his previous relationship. This young fellow human will be spending more time with us this year. It feels wonderful and also humbling to have a child in our life. Children are so loving, carefree, playful, curious, honest. I love to observe how this human being interacts with the space. She is not thinking about status, accumulation, financial "success". She interacts with everything so freely. We live in a very small, 40 or so square meter studio apartment. And while our family members may think that this is too small, the little one never expressed her concerns. In fact, she likes this space very much. 

Having another human being in our home, even from time to time, means inviting more objects in. We try to maintain our existing sustainability practices, but I can also see that I am stepping away from extreme minimalism even more. I do not feel bad about it, but it does mean having internal dialogues and doing much inner work. Some might say that these objects are not for me, they are for the child, and that I need to focus on my own consumption. And this is right, but it is my loved one and I who need to make good, sustainable choices when it comes to bedding, furniture, toys, food, and many other things. Recently we bought new bedding for the little one. Looking for options that are organic, certified, made by small, local businesses takes time. It is also expensive, so we try to buy items that will serve the child for many years to come. Some toys my loved one brought from the other apartment where the child lives currently. But she also plays with the stones we have at home and with a soft toy that my loved one has had since he was a child. 

My hope is that the child will observe our sustainability practices and perhaps adopt some of them too. At the same time, there are so many other forces in society. 

261

 Gifts

As a part of my practice of minimalism, I always ask my fellow humans to avoid giving gifts to me that are not food or something that I use. When I offer gifts, they are also food or drinks or something zero-waste, or something the person needs/wants and asks for.

Before I went to Sweden to give my lecture, I checked my post box. A fellow human sent a wonderful gift to me from Finland. It's Japanese tea and a heartfelt handwritten note. 

Recently, my loved one's mother gave us this knäckebröd/kex that she made herself. 

I don't know why in the minds of many, food is not a beautiful gift. 

260

 Going to Sweden again

This morning, I went to Sweden to give a lecture at Lund university's campus in Helsingborg. It's a 1.5 or so hour direct train journey from Copenhagen. Today's lecture is about degrowth, food and mobility. When I began to give lectures about degrowth, I was always emphasising what degrowth was, why it was needed, how it can come about. These days, especially due to writing this autoethnography and trying (and failing) to practise many of the things that would be part of degrowth society, I emphasise nuance, loose ends, difficult topics and issues so much more. Autoethnography has taught me to be attentive to smaller unfoldings in life, to be constantly present. As I was on my way to Helsingborg, I was contemplating mobility and my lecture. The journey costs SEK 249 one way. It's incredibly expensive, and for this reason I was not going to Lund university, where I am a visiting researcher, much. I like the atmosphere at the department of service studies, and being present in the office inspires very different thoughts to what comes to my mind when I'm at home in Copenhagen or at the university in Denmark. I try to come to Sweden every now and then to write my book too, as the book is about Swedish and Danish small businesses. 

Many fellow humans who research degrowth avoid flying and driving/private car ownership. So do I. But public transport is very expensive here in Sweden and in Denmark where I live. There are of course ways to pay less for tickets, but I still believe that even then they are unaffordable to many. Public transport and travelling need to be subsidised. 

Oftentimes, when my fellow humans ask me about travelling by train, I say that it is a wonderful part of my slow living practice. I take this time to contemplate, write, and rest. It's my time of self-care and meditation. Often I forget to highlight the less pleasant aspects of it. Train journeys can be very long and stressful due to overcrowded stations and sudden cancellations. This time is not included in working hours. To reach Helsingborg just after 9 am, I had to get up very early to walk to the central station in Copenhagen. I don't live too far away from it, but also not too close. In summer when days are long and it's warmer, this walk is very pleasant. It's not unpleasant in the rain or when it snows (as it does these days), but some days it feels less comfortable.