98

 Being with a fellow human

Stepping on the path of being with another human feels right. Growing together, nurturing a safe and supportive space, manifesting gentleness and care are some of the aspects of being-together that I am excited about. I am curious to see how my practices of being in the world differently (such as extreme minimalism and staying in the local area) will unfold over time, and how that fellow human and I can practise being in the world differently together, in new circumstances. Being on my own meant that all the decisions were mine. In my decisions, I had to take my own wellbeing, nature and society into account, but not any particular (other) individual since my previous partner and I went our separate paths. Naturally, that was easier. Yet, being with another human feels like a more multi-dimensional experience, e.g., our connection is a space where I can safely manifest love and vulnerability. To this fellow human, my practice of extreme minimalism, living without furniture and so on might come across as taking sustainability too far. However, I feel fortunate that this person is likewise on a path of self-transformation and a more sustainable mode of living. 

97

 Gift from a fellow human

I find gift giving challenging to navigate as a social ritual. Living only with the objects I find useful and beautiful means that I don't keep items simply because they were a gift. I do not feel bad about donating/sharing/giving away the items I received as gifts, though on some occasions my family members were offended that I gave away the items I received from them. Objects embody nature, they require energy and materials to be produced, and I want to be mindful of this even when engaging in socially important rituals. When I want to offer something to a fellow human, I ask them what they want or need, or I hope that they simply tell me what they want or need and I will get it for them when I have an opportunity/possibility/means. Perhaps this takes away some element of surprise or comes across as an easy or pragmatic option, but doing this seems most authentic and in alignment with my mode of being. 

Recently my fellow human gave me the most beautiful gift. It's a stone he found in Denmark and brought to Finland for me. The stone reminds me of that human being and makes me think how humans can handle social situations and rituals alternatively, more in line with ecological and spiritual worldviews rather than with social norms (e.g., assuming that giving gifts is an expression of love). 

96

 Lily of the valley

Lily of the valley is Finland's national flower. Since I don't own a vase, I put these flowers in an old vinegar bottle. 

95

 Electricity consumption

I made more spruce tip tea to celebrate my energy consumption. I live in a city and my electricity comes from a mix of sources (49% nuclear power, 41% fossil fuel, 10% renewable energy). I use the company (Helen) that perhaps most people here in Helsinki use. It is owned by the city of Helsinki. I am certainly not happy about the sources of energy that the electricity I use comes from. My aim is to minimise my use of electricity. Last month, my energy bill was around EUR 13, which is lower than what it used to be in Sweden and much lower than in the UK. I rely on natural sunlight and almost never use the kitchen area lights. I don't have light fixtures in this studio apartment: the sunlight is enough, especially in spring and summer. I don't own a vacuum cleaner, a washing machine, a kettle and so on, and don't use the dishwasher. I wasn't avoiding those items to reduce my use of electricity, but rather to engage a lot more with humbling and mindful activities such as washing my clothes and cleaning the floor by hand. Minimising the use of energy in this case is a by-product. 

94

 Euphoria

On this day, I noticed that finally spruce tips appeared. I walk past these trees every day, and it was the first day one could finally pick spruce tips. They are delicious and can be used as a spring vegetable in salads and also to make tea. They remind me of my childhood. As I was picking some, my fellow human sent me a photo of spruce tips she was eating. It was magical. 

To make tea, I simply add spruce tips to some hot water and wait until they become yellow rather than bright green. Sometimes I add a bit of syrup. The taste is wonderful, green, fresh, earthy, lemony. 

93

 Balance

Writing more theoretical and philosophical parts of my work does not always feel balanced. It's a solitary activity. To create harmony, I try to spend more time with others and do more activities that are down-to-earth. In the social sciences, one often reads that humans are social beings (and it is also experientially true). While we are social, we are also singular, and also relate with non-human beings. While writing, I feel an intense need to spend time with non-human others, so I try to go for long walks often and take time to connect with non-humans.

Living without a washing machine and a vacuum cleaner offers plenty of opportunities to engage in humbling activities. Cleaning the floor by hand and handwashing my clothes is not an unpleasant chore. I feel gratitude for this opportunity. I have finally accumulated enough pieces of cotton string (it came with some products I bought) to make a long string for drying my clothes. I don't decorate my space at all, but scarves drying in the morning sunlight are aesthetically pleasing. It is interesting that in our society washing machines are desired to speed up the process of cleaning clothing, and dryers are often used to avoid having damp clothing taking up space. Before I started living in my current (rented) apartment, I had lived with washing machines and dryers my whole life. Those items were not something I decided I wanted to live with in my childhood. Rather, they were the norm. I never realised how much joy I was foregoing while living with those devices. 

92

 Prefigurative politics

Participating in protests does not appeal to me as a person. Neither do hierarchical organisations, endless organising meetings, and manifestos. I find it interesting how often contributing to change is reduced to participating in protests, in some organised movement, and voting. Oftentimes, when I mention prefigurative politics, fellow humans don't know what it means. Perhaps they just don't know the term, but most participate in prefiguring a better society anyway, often without adopting a label or claiming to be part of some movement (such as degrowth). I try to bring about a better society via my personal, everyday, simple actions, in teaching, writing, consumption, interacting with human and non-human others, etc. As a researcher, I am interested in these actions manifested by others too. It is interesting that prefigurative politics seems to be a way self-actualising humans bring about change. For example, Maslow (1970) observes: "What they settled down to as a group was an accepting, calm, good-humoured everyday effort to improve the culture, usually from within, rather than to reject it wholly and fight it from without."

91

 Growth

I've been reading humanist literature for my book. Humanism has so much to offer to post-growth, and it's also very helpful when contemplating one's own mode of being in, and relating with, the world. Maslow, in Motivation and Personality, says that "self-actualisation is growth-motivated rather than deficiency-motivated." It feels intuitively true as well, and I observe this while taking these autoethnographic notes too. It makes me think about the reasons and coping mechanisms behind being (or trying to be) in the world differently. In post-growth thought there has been a lot of negative thinking. Overconsumption, degradation, the need for reduction, downscaling, downsizing, and so on. It's not unjustified, but such thinking feels to be a poor foundation for change. For instance, I don't stay in the local area because flying to an exotic destination contributes to ecological degradation. Rather, I do it out of love towards my local area. I don't live with much less than what is the norm in my society because I am anxious about overconsumption. Rather, living with less (in addition to it being better for nature) is liberating. 

90

 Researching a "radical" topic

At a recent event, a fellow human asked what it's like to research a radical topic, whether there is a backlash. I research degrowth. These days, degrowth doesn't seem very radical to me anymore. When I started my PhD in 2016, it was more challenging to write about degrowth. But even by then there was curiosity and a body of literature in different languages. Moreover, at that time and even before many were talking about similar ideas, but often using different vocabularies. Now, one can also find fellow humans who remain antagonistic towards degrowth, and of course various systems, modes of being, and practices in society are not aligned with degrowth. And yet, I'm not finding it difficult to work with this concept. Generally, fellow humans are supportive and curious. I think it's all about our mode of being in the world as humans and researchers. I avoid presenting degrowth as the best vision, the most radical, or even unique. As a practitioner and simply a person I was influenced perhaps the most by deep ecology, and also by American environmentalism, humanism, and Bhaskar's philosophy of metaReality. Degrowth literature is not my only source of inspiration. Acknowledging the shortcomings, nuances, and loose ends of one's field is important. It's also about how we talk to others (including those feeling uncomfortable with degrowth as a concept or a vision), whether we treat them as fellow humans (with respect, love, care, empathy, etc.) or as enemies, their field of study as something where one can learn something from, or as useless. 

89

 Thoughtful design

I don't own or wear jewellery, but this bracelet was a gift. Its meaning is very interesting. The bracelet was designed by a scholar of sustainability. These are System Pearls. They "symbolise the interconnectedness of nature's systems and the values that uphold a healthy human society". The pearls were inspired by prayer beads, and each pearl stands for something (such as peace, soils, oceans). The little tag with the symbol of our university stands for "with knowledge comes responsibility". The beads are made from wood of trees from mixed forests in Finland. These trees are: rowan, spruce, aspen, oak, birch, goat willow, bird cherry, ash tree, elm, black alder, juniper, pine, cultivar of silver birch, larch, maple, linden, grey alder, lilac, plum tree, and hazel. 

88

 Floor based living

It has been 2.5 months of living without furniture and it feels liberating. There is an abundance of space and light, and also of possibilities to arrange my space quickly in the way that suits me and the season. 

87

 Being with trees

My most recent writing project I decided to do on my own. The purpose of it is to, in one place, constellate various thoughts, ideas, reflections, and loose ends on the subject I've been thinking about for many years. And yet it doesn't feel like I'm doing it on my own. Many thoughts crystallise into more concrete words when I interact with my fellow humans, but many also crystallise when I spend time with other beings such as trees. 

At times, local trees are a source of food. I've mentioned birch leaf tea before, but generally young birch leaves are delicious as a snack and in salads.

86

 Slow living

In the past few days I have felt an intense need to (re)focus. The constellation of projects, connections, and other commitments has grown too large and has become more challenging to handle. For me, the wrong path in this situation is to be more productive, efficient, and get things done. In such situations, I spend more time contemplating what needs to be shed and where my energy needs to be directed. 

Being of deep transformations is not necessarily always slow. It doesn't have to be either/or. Sometimes it's intense. Some days I feel creative and at one with my writing. Other days I don't produce anything, just learn. Today I spent time with the sea and decided to make a salad with some radishes grown here in Finland. One can also eat the green parts, so I will use the whole plants for the salad. In the morning I picked more birch leaves to make tea. 

85

 Birch leaf tea

In the spring, one of the most delicious gifts from nature is birch leaf. I make tea from these leaves or add them to salads. The tea tastes similar to birch sap, it's sweet and floral. 

84

 Communicating values

Recently I spent some time with my t-shirts and realised that to many they would look like they are approaching the end of their life. Over time, they developed some holes and the fabric stretched out. They look imperfect, and to me, they look even more beautiful now than they did before. I cut the sleeves off with manicure scissors and intend to wear them until it is time to turn them into cloths for cleaning my home. I wore them to work too. I'm based in a business school. When I wore these t-shirts at the university, my knowledge and creativity did not reduce, and I feel no desire to replace these t-shirts. Unfortunately, in our society there still exists the norm of looking put together, presentable (but to whom? Men? Customers? Management?). When I choose what to wear, I ask myself, which values do I want to communicate? They have nothing to do with status or achievement. Rather, they are simplicity, imperfection, ephemerality. 

83

 Needs

So often in our scientific works my fellow humans and I say that humans should produce to satisfy our needs, not wants. It makes sense, but at times needs are difficult to navigate. With a fellow human we wrote something about food production, and while writing, we were thinking that food satisfies more than nutritional needs, but also cultural and social. We used coffee and fika as an example. 

Generally, I try to live with as little as possible, to direct my energy into various domains such as growth, creativity and connecting with nature, rather than accumulating and serving material objects. Yet recently I welcomed into my life another scarf. It's made from French linen, here in Finland by a local business that emphasises domestic production. This scarf is not really a need, I have another one made from hemp. Pragmatically, I use such scarves to protect my hair in the summer from intense sunlight because I try to spend as much time with nature and with the sun as possible. Hemp and linen scarves are not very warm, so they don't satisfy the need for warmth. I've noticed that scarves satisfy a psychological need in my case. Somehow, wearing a large scarf over my head in public spaces such as a university or a train feels comforting. Very often I experience oneness with my surroundings. In some spaces such as a forest it is healthy and calming. In other spaces, such as a busy train station, it doesn't feel as good. Wearing a scarf creates a physical barrier. 

82

 Time and self-transcendence 

I have been contemplating self-transcendence a lot these days. Experiences of self-transcendence are central to my life in general. But in addition to that, several days ago a paper of mine was accepted where I reflect on self-transcendence as an essential part of being in the world differently. I wrote this work a while ago and recently had an opportunity to read it again and see if my thinking changed in any way. Sometimes fellow humans say to me that they have no time for self-transcendence. Their lives are of course different to mine in many ways. Some have children, pets, other caring responsibilities, larger (and more) homes to take care of, busy social lives, demanding hobbies, more items to care for and so on. In my life, I decided to forego many of those commitments for different reasons. Some for ecological, aesthetic and spiritual reasons (not sharing my life with many things and not having a large house), some due to responsibility (it would be irresponsible for me personally to have children in my situation). As anyone else, I have multiple responsibilities, but I try to make time for doing the things I love, such as walking, sitting in the sun, sitting by the sea, being with nature. In my experience, self-transcendence is not something that is additional to doing these things.  In other words, it's not beyond, but rather within all of these things. It is most easily experienced in basic acts such as walking, sitting, sleeping, eating. I don't need to go to an exotic destination, to speak to any particular fellow human, to acquire a special set of items to experience oneness. It is enough to relocate to a different part of the room (where there is direct sunlight), or outside, and to spend time with the moss. 

81

 Learning

Some edible wild herbs have begun to grow in my local area, including ground elder and dandelion. Soon one can pick spruce tips. Spruce tips and wood sorrel/harsyra (I actually didn't know the name for it) were my favourite late spring/early summer "snacks" from a forest in my childhood. Seeing these plants again makes me think about our connection with nature and feeling safe in nature. I don't know if there are inherent mechanisms in us that help us identify edible plants, but I learned what I could forage in the forest in different seasons from adults, early in my childhood. Higher education can provide some philosophical and psychological tools (such as self-transcendence) to relate with nature differently. However, it seems to me that relating with nature in a healthy way starts much earlier. The feeling of oneness with nature I experienced clearly when I was around 5 or 6 years old. At that time I didn't know the word for it.